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Author Topic: Trying to understand

November 30, 2019, 11:08:37 AM
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Confused16309


I'll keep this as brief as I can. My wife and I have had problems on and off throughout our marriage. I had problems (addressed and corrected with ongoing therapy, discussion, and personal faith). She cheated twice (that I know of definitely, possible a third). The first was a self confessed one night thing. The second was an emotional affair that turned physical. The second I confronted her about and received a denial only to later discover text messages that proved the affair. The second time is the only time I can definitely say she has lied to me.
Fast forward a few years to a better time. She claimed to have had a flash back when something g reminded her of my former porn problem. Then I stumbled across texts of her talking with a man quite local. In the texts her referred to her as "hun", asked what she did for work, asked for a picture of her, and asked her to sneak away to the bathroom (she was at work) to continue e chatting. She replied kind of distant and vague to this but, sent a sad, crying emoji saying she could chat more. I confronted her with this and she claimed she had been communicating (anonymously via chat groups) with guys and girls about my former porn problem to try to understand. I asked her to discontinue this as it would be little real help and encouraged her to see a professional counselor. Initially she agreed but then later claimed I had no right to ask this and she was doing nothing wrong in seeking g understanding. Later she claimed that the texting is we not wanted and that this individual had searched and found her number. Problem is she was asking if he had kik and gave a kik handle which I knew nothing about. Her claims make this seem innocent but if she didn't want the discussion why the invite for further discussion on kik?
I have confronted her and received stonewalling f, she has lock all her secret social media away, and become emotionally distant. There are times of somewhat normal relations between us with planning g and preparation for future stuff but, she is still on kik and won't admit/discuss anything more and just gets upset accusing me of distrust.
No idea on what to do.

December 01, 2019, 05:42:20 AM
Reply #1
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Captain Black


This is really a complex case ,perhaps beyond the scope here.

I would recommend that you both see a Relationship/Marriage Counsellor who would listen and immediate and recommend a way forward.

 

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