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Author Topic: Stay or go

March 23, 2019, 07:05:34 PM
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So I have been dating this girl for 3 months, and things have been nothing short of incredible.  We have true chemistry and connect so well together.  We are silly, romantic, intimate, all of these great aspects in a relationship that I have wanted for so long.  Here's where it gets complicated.  She has a little girl, and a pending divorce from someone who mistreated her for many years (they've been separated over a year).  We are both in our mid-twenties, and i want something serious with her.  She isn't ready to commit, but explains how meaningful I am to her.  She has let me into her daughter's life, gotten close with all of her family and friends, posts about me on social media, but she insists on still using the dating app that we connected with and going out with other men from time to time.  About a month into us dating she had been bragging to everyone about me.  I completely swept her off of her feet when she was just looking to have fun.  She constantly raves about how attractive I am to her, and all of our feelings are equally reciprocated, for the most part.  About 2 months in, she came to me randomly explaining that she wanted an exclusive relationship with me.  I said great! She eliminated guys from the dating app we used to first connect, telling them she wasn't interested and found someone.  Then she got some bad anxiety about her decision, so I told her that it's okay, let's continue to take it slow.  She regressed to when I first met her, reaching out to other guys again.  The thought of her with someone else mortifies me.  She has tried explaining that these dates are meaningless, a stress relief while she deals with all of these external issues in her life.  Bottom line, I'm ready for commitment and she can't commit.  She has strung me along with this isn't who she is, she's a monogamous woman who wants a relationship with me, but she needs to settle this divorce and other things in her life before she explores that avenue.  I get where she's coming from and have tried to be patient, and she knows the other guys in the situation bug me.  We have had several conversations about this and where we are at, to the point where it exhausts us both.  I've told myself to back out a bit, respond less, hang out less, etc.  The biggest thing for me is that I feel like I owe it to myself to cut contact off and move on.  We have both said we would like to explore something serious in the future, but I simply cannot keep in contact with her if other guys are involved, regardless of their worth. 

Just wondering if the best route is to remove myself completely from the situation, continue to date other people myself, and maybe we can explore it later.  Or do I hang in there and show that I am faithful to the situation.  The way that i think, is that she can't really miss me or realize what i mean to her if I'm still here to reply to texts, hold her hand, comfort her while she gets everything she wants between myself and other people.

I appreciate the advice!

March 24, 2019, 11:27:15 PM
Reply #1


My advice for you is to go and find the right girl for you. True love means trust and commitment. If she really loves you, I believe she will do everything to keep you. I think its better for you to let her go.

March 25, 2019, 01:43:27 PM
Reply #2


Hmm I can’t help feeling she is stringing you along a little bit. I almost get the feeling she is waiting for you to date someone else so she can throw it back at you that she knew you wouldn’t be faithful and she knew you didn’t want commitment. I think she’s very scared of getting hurt be doesn’t seem to appreciate how much she is hurting you. Let her go and find someone who deserves you

March 25, 2019, 08:27:13 PM
Reply #3


Let go man. I was in a very similar relationship and you have no idea how good it feels after I was able to meet someone else.

July 14, 2019, 02:57:39 AM
Reply #4


three months time is too short to judge anyone that to with such a complication in short tenure.


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