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Author Topic: Should I end it with a girl I really like?

November 20, 2019, 08:55:13 PM
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throwaway32894


So for about 3 months now I've been off and on with this girl from my college. I really like this girl, but the big problem here is that she's not over her ex, and so after her calling me her "boyfriend" for about a month she realized that she wasn't "emotionally available" and so she broke up with me.

However, later that same day she said she missed me and asked for me to stay over, which I did. For the month following, we would get into these cycles where she would want to spend all this time with me and kiss me and snuggle and do normal gf bf stuff, but then she would pull away later and affirm that we weren't dating and should act like friends, which then lead to her asking me to spend the night shortly after. One day she decided to totally cut it off, but then drunk texted me and wanted me to walk her home 2 days later, which I did.

In the past 2-3 weeks I've recognized these cycles and have become more distant, and as a result she's become way more emotionally attached. She wants to see me and do "bf gf stuff" wayy more often than before and texts me constantly (the cycles in large part have stopped). However, I'm getting tired of not being in a committed relationship, and I thought she might be getting over him. Just now I had a talk with her to ask if she was getting over him and she said that she "didn't know". She tells me all the time that she would never get back with her ex, since he was "an asshole and emotionally abusive". She just misses him, apparently. I probably should have cut this off a long time ago, but I reallyy like her and I don't know what to do. Advice?

Thanks

February 20, 2020, 06:24:38 PM
Reply #1
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PaulE


To be brutally honest...you're gonna get put into the friend zone. Tell her that you care a LOT for her (don't say you love her)...but she needs to get over her ex before the feelings between you two can blossom the way you want them to.

Right now she is feeling rejected by her ex and when she is missing him she craves attention.

If you are there for her every time she is missing her ex, you will never escape the friend zone.

Good luck to you.

February 29, 2020, 06:51:46 PM
Reply #2
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JCDallas


I'm relatively new here, so my advice might not be the best, but being with someone who isn't over their ex does not sound like the best idea, maybe give them the time they need to think about what they need, time to get over that person, and then maybe try to work things out with her. That's what I would do. Unless things between you and her are so well that you just can't see yourself without her, then maybe do what you can to show her that your new relationship is going to be much better for her & you would treat her way better. 

April 19, 2020, 12:07:43 AM
Reply #3
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quan9309


Hi throwaway32894,

She need a guy who can treat her like a GF and satisfy her needs. She doesnt not want you specifically since you can be replace. I think she is still attach to her ex but her ex are not able to give her the bf gf feeling so she need another guy to do that while hoping her ex will return to her one day. I think you are a Plan B or temporary bf to her.

April 19, 2020, 12:30:28 AM
Reply #4
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MichelleCarlos


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September 11, 2020, 01:36:59 AM
Reply #5
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Billy1


Well, some of my friends met their girlfriends online and now they are very happy together, so I think that it's really possible and quite easy to do it.  Besides, I recommend you to read this article on this source here as it may be interesting for you too. Check it there. Hope that you will use it.

 

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