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Author Topic: She wants space

January 03, 2019, 03:34:39 PM
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Confused83


My partner whos 29 has just asked for space. We had an argument and she just told me to leave & said give me space for a few days. We kind of sorted the argument but she still wanted space, the argument wasnt anything major.

this was 2 days ago. Weirdly when i left she text me saying 'just give me till sunday as i just want a few days to myself and we'll go for a nice meal'.

now I'm really confused. She wants space yet has planned for a date night Sunday, so why on earth ask for space like we cant talk in between. I trust her so much but this is testing my trust why she'd request a set number of days apart so i replied 'i dont do breaks with people we're either together or we arent as im not waiting around while other people could potentially be involved' she replied 'i dont want anyone else its not a break just a few days space'. I didnt reply, that was 2 days ago and for the past 2 days ive just felt horrendous. Why would she want space until sunday if it doesnt involve any one else?. Just to add we are also a couple whos never gone a day without contact so that's why its now so hard.

also she has a private folder on facebook where she adds photos of us to save and only her can see it. Today i woke up and she'd added photos and added me to the folder so id see them, isnt that just emotional manipulation and another way of sending me photos to get a rise?. Why on earth is this woman wanting space then doing this? And why need space anyway? What a start to 2019.

Ive been tempted to just end it not because i want to but because i dont want to sit and wait for Sunday then how am i meant to act sunday? Happy when ive been hurting for days? Any advice? As i dont understand what good will come of 5 days of silence then suddenly meeting as i already know ill turn up to the meal just resentful.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 03:37:22 PM by Confused83 »

January 05, 2019, 05:07:27 PM
Reply #1
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winstonjack


Hmmm, I guess I'll shoot straight. I think most men who are trying to win back their ex would give their left XXXX to be in your shoes. So it is hard to be sympathetic even though I know you are hurting. You didn't say how old you are in your message but what you are experiencing isn't at all over the top for women. You may be lucky that she asked for some space instead letting her emotions swell until she either says goodbye for good or finds someone else. So do something.....go learn something, heck go out and do something you couldn't do before. If you decide to walk away it is your choice but don't expect her to come running if suddenly you realize living without her is harder than you thought.

January 08, 2019, 05:53:57 PM
Reply #2
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Staff

Forum Staff
Hmmm, I guess I'll shoot straight. I think most men who are trying to win back their ex would give their left XXXX to be in your shoes. So it is hard to be sympathetic even though I know you are hurting. You didn't say how old you are in your message but what you are experiencing isn't at all over the top for women. You may be lucky that she asked for some space instead letting her emotions swell until she either says goodbye for good or finds someone else. So do something.....go learn something, heck go out and do something you couldn't do before. If you decide to walk away it is your choice but don't expect her to come running if suddenly you realize living without her is harder than you thought.

I agree, I made that mistake a long time ago. I gave up every hobby, friend and interest because of my partner. Eventually, the relationship came crashing down and i had nothing left.

Always surround yourself with hobbies and friends so if the relationship does ever go south, at least then you have people to associate yourself with and things to do.

Keep yourself occupied!

I'm liking your responses @winstonjack, i have +1 repped you.  ;D
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

January 21, 2019, 09:51:38 PM
Reply #3
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SarahLancaster


I'm concerned about your statement that you're either with her or you're not, and you aren't going to sit around and wait for her.  It seems to me that if you were really in love with this girl, you'd give her the space she asked for without trying to second-guess her motives.

Sometimes we just need a few days to think about things.  I recommend that you work on better communication skills with her.
"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

January 28, 2019, 12:26:09 AM
Reply #4
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Toby2124


I’ve been in this situation before and the best thing you can do as hard as it seems Is firstly give her the space and don’t contact her unless absolutely necessary. This shows her you still respect her enough to listen to what’s shes asking for and gives her the time to miss you as well.


The second things is go to the dinner on Sunday with an open mind not thinking one way or the other as men and humans in general our feelings and emotions dictate a lot of our behaviour. This in turn could have a negative affect on your demeanor without you even realising it.

 

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