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Author Topic: She broke up with me, but can't let me go

August 22, 2019, 07:45:42 PM
Read 616 times



When it all started.. My ex gf. (I loved her sooooo much) broke up with me a few years ago. I was devasteted, it took me half a year just not to wake up with pain in my hearth. And than after about 1 year (after the broke up) I met this girl online in the end of summer 2 years ago. We started to chat, than call, then meet.. It was amazing.. But becouse I was afraid that I burn myself again with love... I didn't give 100% into our relationship. I mean.. I really liked her, I loved her, but I didn't show it as much as I should have been.. And after some time she noticed. I was her first serious boyfriend so she really.. really loved me at the time. That was the time when everything bad started. She went to collage at the same town, where I was. One of her classmate, a guy was very nice to her, he is funny, a good guy, so they became friends. And becouse she tought that I wasn't love her as much as she, they also became very close. At frst, she went his town to sleep there to make me jealous, and I know that bc. she told me. But after that.. she went there bc she wanted to, bc that guy give her the affection that she expected from me. Aaaaand of course the guy started to feel more than friendship. It's a fact, it's would be too long to write down why, so take my word for it. And she didn't even noticed that... And there were other problems. Both of us proud.. stubborn.. and we were not the best at communication. And even we were so unlucky at everything... If something could get wrong... it certenly did. If we were on a date.. I wanted to pay in the restaurant or bowling club etc. My card didn't work or I didn't have cash.. If we wanted to meet or have plans for the weekend something always disrupted it.. You know what I mean.. And there are many many examles... I know they not use this phrase to this, but we were even on the emotional roller coaster. I mean if I was up, she was down, if she was up, I was down. If she wanted to give 100% i give 70%. Than she noticed, so she give 70%, but by than, I noticed I not giving enough, so went up to 100%, but than I noticed she at 70% so bc we are proud and stubborn we didn't communicate it well so instead one of us tell the other why one of us at 70%, (not bc the absence of love, but bc the absence of showing how much we loved each other) we jus went up and down up and down... And that roller coaster was true to the whole relationship. 

But my bigest pain was that guy... The best friend. They slept at eaach other once or twice a month. And than.. even went to short 3-4 day trips to other countrys.. I was harthbroken every time.. I tought about breking up bc of the best friend, she tought about it bc according to her, we have to many problems and we always so unlucky that maybe it's a sign that we were not ment to each other.

Than something changed. It was amazing when we met. We had so much fun together. We talked hours like we met that night. But.. I find out that the best friend going to sleep at her without she told me... I questioned her, and she told me she didn't wanted to fight about it, she tought that if I don't know, it won't hurt. We talked this out... and in the end we broke up. It was at end of this spring. I tried to tell her, that our problems solvable, but she wanted to feel happy, becouse she was unhappy in this relationship. I understood, we huged each other, and a I left.

I tought that it was over. Every relationship that i had or my friends had, ther were never an exapmle that after the break up the the two people talked to each other. But the next day she wrote me, we talked, not about our relationship but anything else. It was like two people who just met. We chat about serious things like global warming, or fun stuff like doggos.. A few day passed, and we disussed that we exchange each other's stuff. I went her place thinking it will be a few minutes, than I will go home or something. I didn't. She ask me to stay there, we made some food, watch tv (she slept in my lap), than she wanted to go swimming with me, after that when I brought her home, we talked 4-5 ours in my car about out relationship. What was good, what was bad.. It was a pain to hear how much I didn't care for her.. how many things I didn't notice, how many times we offended each other. We talked until 2 AM... We cried we laughed but we hugged each other in the end. It was really good to know exatly what I was doing wrong (according to her).

After that we talkad again and again online, once a week we even met for a few hours, we played squash, than have some food, than sat down in a park and talked for an hour or two. But every time I bring up the possibility that maybe we could be lovers again, she refused. She told me, that she really like me, how much I care for her since we broke up, (and the little bit before that) and she see that we could be happy together, but she wants to be happy, and she afraid of that everything going to be the same. I tried to explain a few times that if we don't give it a chance we will never know, but it didn't help so I let it go. We talked the whole summer over chat, but at the end of july, one of her best friend came to her place for a week. I was so angry about it.. Becouse she ask me something in messenger, I answerd, but she replied only the next day.. I was angry bc she asked me something and than immediatly left, not even cared what I answered. When her friend left, I asked her that is she so happy that she didn't have time for me? And she replied "I not gonna lie, I am happy and I enjoy my time :D " That smily... Made me so angry, that I told her that if she so happy without me, than let each other go, and don't waste our time. She apologized, but after all agreed that if it was only a break between us.. it would be resolved a long time ago.

I kinda let it go in myself.. But the hope in me is so strong even now that we can be lovers again, but I accepted it that i screwed up, but at least I learnd from that.. 3-4 day passed than she wrote me online how much she misses me, but every time she thinking about us.. she can't let go the thought the it will going to be the same, but since than she is the one who bring up the topic about us. Every friend of hers says to her that it can be solved. And she even said that she could imagine us together but not now. In august, we didn't talk much becouse of her summer job and vacation with her family. But that one night when she was at home (so far in august) she wanted to wach a film with me (both of us are home, and watch the same film and talked about it during and after the film via messenger).

And my question is... is it worth to continue this in hope of we find each other again or we should let it go? I want to hear that we have a chance, bc I really love her still very very much, but want honest opinions. And sorry for bad english!

And one more thing. Her parents divorced, bc her dad cheated on her mom. It was the worst period of her life so she despise everyone who cheat on someone. She is very honest, she is the one who told you her honest feelings even if they are the most painful thing is the world. I know as a fact that she never cheated on me. And I know that she sees her best friend.. as a friend. As she talks about him.. It is sensible tha she only thinks about him as a friend. Since we broke up, she would have many opportunitys with him or anyone else. But I she didn't use those opportunitys.. I would know that.

September 01, 2019, 12:51:43 AM
Reply #1


Honestly I think she is just stringing you along, partially because ya she likes you but, I think you need to be honest with what you truly want with her, and well if she doesn’t want it well, look for someone else. I think she is keeping you because she sees you as a person of stability for her, and she doesn’t want to engage further because your current setup works for her for reasons.


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