Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin
Ask For Relationship Advice From The Team

Author Topic: Sexless Marriage

June 22, 2019, 02:25:07 PM
Read 486 times
Offline

Grower


Rather than bore you with my sad tale, I would just like to
throw out a question.

If you were no longer able to/or desire to perform your normal "sex"
with your significant other, would you seek out new ways
to keep your lover satisfied regardless of your personal
desire/ ability for sex??

I as the one denied sex, I am in a constant battle of rejection, anger
and resentment in my head. I read of other couples in which they go
on about how besides no sex their relationship is great. I say BS.


June 23, 2019, 09:43:53 PM
Reply #1
Offline

buildestroy


I was in a sexless marriage for 9 years. Divorce and a new partner revitalized me. I became a new person. Sex is a major factor in relationships and should not be left unaddressed.

June 24, 2019, 05:14:57 PM
Reply #2
Offline

mitos3


I would like to think I would always try to satisfy my partner even if I was unable to perform the sex act - but there are so many variables to consider - I don't think anyone can give you a reliable answer to that question.

So perhaps the question you want to ask is - "Should I accept living in a sexless relationship?"

I assume it must depend on your age, your libido, the reasons your relationship is sexless.

If you go without sex for long enough you probably get used to that way of living - but if you step outside and experience a relationship with sex - I think you will struggle to step back to your old life - so be careful what you wish for.

I lived in a relatively sexless marriage & was able to live with it by watching porn & seeing prostitutes when I got really desperate when I was away on business - I never had an affair because that seemed too risky & unnecessary.

In the end it turned out my ex was having an affair & that's why our sex life was limited to once a month or so - she was just going through the motions. I was an emotional wreck & had no experience or help with this situation so I possibly didn't respond to the situation in the best way ... maybe I did - I will never know.

15 years later with lots more experience & hindsight & being in a better place right now ... I would say a sex is a very reliable barometer for a relationship.

If it ain't happening on a regular basis ( e.g. every day / week ), then there's something wrong and you need to understand why before you can make any decisions.

Don't do anything until understand why, and try to fix things cos the fallout from stepping outside can take years to get over & it can cripple you financially & can cause lots of damage to your kids.
 

June 24, 2019, 07:20:50 PM
Reply #3
Offline

Samme


Rather than bore you with my sad tale, I would just like to
throw out a question.

If you were no longer able to/or desire to perform your normal "sex"
with your significant other, would you seek out new ways
to keep your lover satisfied regardless of your personal
desire/ ability for sex??

I as the one denied sex, I am in a constant battle of rejection, anger
and resentment in my head. I read of other couples in which they go
on about how besides no sex their relationship is great. I say BS.
[/quote

If i really dont wanna lose someone, i would do my best to keep him with me. Sex is very important in a relationship and it can really destroy a story. Have you tried to show your concern? Communication is very important in this case. And ask her if she still finds you attractive. I know it can hurt a lot but it’s necessary pain

June 25, 2019, 01:23:56 PM
Reply #4
Offline

Grower


In my case, I would like to believe that I would do what I could
to keep my lover happy regardless of my ability to perform in
a traditional way.
In my sexless marriage my wife is a very
unhappy, angry , you might say toxic person, who get angry
and frustrated with most people, jobs and activities in her life.
With a why is life/god so unfair to me attitude. Her response to
all frustrations is anger, insults and withholding of affection and
sex. I believe the anger helps to avoid any real dialog and for
some bizarre logic, things done or said in anger should be overlooked
and never apologized for. This just causes me, my son and even the dog
to avoid, avoid and not engage, might as well as you can not win.
Along with anger and no need to apologize there is an unwavering resentment
toward anyone who really or is perceived to have cause the anger
and the memories never go away.
 I for the most part have just given up hope, and since I have been
told that my affection or advances are not wanted. So why am I married?,
good question, mainly I wanted a child and she gave that to. Also, I
felt that menopause or perhaps mental issues could be at play. Lastly
I fear that life through and after a divorce would be worse than the hell
I live now considering I have my son at home, but that will be over in
just a couple more years.
  Well I did it and told you my long and sad tale. Sorry. I am not a perfect
person, but I am a faithful, truthful and hard working. If you are the with-holder
in a sexless marriage , consider the mental warfare that you are dealing out
to your partner. Can you not spare an hour a week to help support the physical
and mental well being of this significant person in your life. The rejection that
you give gnaws away at the soul of your partner/lover chipping away at their
love til there is none left. Stop creating your twisted logic through which you
rationalize your denial/with holding/ of this physical expression of love/affection
with your partner. While you may not enjoy sex, your partner needs it in
order to feel whole/love. Get help, why do hate sex/ or your partner. If it's
a painful experience why not investigate other sexual options.

 I woke up, so why not make the best of this day. Forever an optimist.

June 26, 2019, 03:48:21 AM
Reply #5
Offline

Mchill


I realize everyone’s upset limit is different when it comes to tolerance in general.

Not knowing how “messy” (kids, finances, etc) your situation is, my initial response is that life is too short for that sort of isolation.

I spent almost 2 decades in a sexless marriage and i will never be in that situation again. Never.

Don’t know if your partner can be fixed.?  I’ve been in open relationships since (swinging) where sex was as commonplace as catching a movie even if it was with someone else. 

So I’ve been on both ends. 

Obviously the best place is with someone you’re attracted too and both of you are into it.

But life is really too short to live that way.

July 12, 2019, 03:20:46 AM
Reply #6
Offline

Davon


I agree. Sex is essential in a relationship since it makes two people connect with each other. I'm also in sexless marriage and about to get a divorce. But I have tried having sex with callgirls, it's definitely a great experience but i know it's never gonna last. Unlike having a wife who constantly support you, grow old with you and fulfill your fantasies at the same time.

July 15, 2019, 08:41:14 AM
Reply #7
Offline

Brenda W


I feel there are endless 101 ways that may solve your problem.
I can only suggest some proven methods. up to u to try.
bit.ly/GetHerToBed

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
2 Replies
487 Views
Last post August 22, 2018, 05:04:36 PM
by jaymish
2 Replies
539 Views
Last post September 03, 2018, 12:13:27 PM
by RoseKaizer
1 Replies
462 Views
Last post December 13, 2018, 10:30:30 PM
by missg
10 Replies
1026 Views
Last post June 22, 2019, 02:43:27 PM
by Grower
1 Replies
356 Views
Last post April 07, 2019, 10:45:08 PM
by Jane3322
3 Replies
739 Views
Last post June 05, 2019, 11:21:47 AM
by troubled21y
0 Replies
264 Views
Last post May 11, 2019, 03:34:02 AM
by LoveandRelationships
2 Replies
228 Views
Last post May 31, 2019, 01:34:07 AM
by CharliseRose3
2 Replies
308 Views
Last post July 16, 2019, 01:20:14 PM
by Brenda W
3 Replies
358 Views
Last post July 15, 2019, 08:39:09 AM
by Brenda W
2 Replies
104 Views
Last post August 08, 2019, 12:49:28 PM
by LaurenceMathews
2 Replies
97 Views
Last post September 02, 2019, 01:42:52 AM
by 40something75