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Author Topic: Sex life, and I being over sensetive.

December 23, 2019, 03:38:55 AM
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My wife and I have been married for 30 years. My sex drive is very high, and her's is very low. We can go a couple of months with out sex. I try to initiate or ask for sex, I am told I am putting her under pressure.
earlier on this year, I found out the had got close to a Co worker, she is adamant they did not sleep together but there was kissing and a fumble (her discription) I also found some sexting. It knocked me for 6. We are working through it and plan to stay together. We are also having counseling. In the lead up to this, our sex life went through the roof, at the time I was working away during the week, and when I came home at the weekend we would have sex 3 or 4 times, even doing things that she has refused to do in the past. All of a sudden it has dropped off again. I don't belive the 'affair' is still going on. My question is, although she has gone right off sex, I have discovered the she often uses her vibrator. Normally I have no problem with this, in fact we often uses it in sex. But the fact she is using it while refusing me sex has really upset me. I have not said anything to her yet. I have also started getting thoughts of 'so is she thinking of him while using it'. Am I over thinking this.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2019, 03:45:16 AM by Garyh »

December 24, 2019, 05:15:06 AM
Reply #1

Captain Black

First of all I don't think your being over sensitive. Whilst masturbating  is normal ,even in relationships ,if it's being done at the expensive of partner sex ,then something is not quite right .The exception here is if the person with a higher sex drive is mastur bating to make up for the lack of partner sex if you get my drift .

Also because she has cheated before your trust in your partner will be probably and rightly so quite low I dare say your counsellor would have touched on this subject as I would do .

The only way forward IMO is being direct and asking why masturbate at the  expense of proper sex .You could even suggest using the vibrator on her .But in answer to your question your not over thinking it and you need to challenge the situation .

December 28, 2019, 12:47:30 PM
Reply #2


From what you say it certainly does seem very suspicious.

I would also be worried that her mind is elsewhere, to put it bluntly.

I would have the conversation with her in a serious manner when you’re not pushed for time and with nobody else around. You should get your answers.

Do keep us updated and best of luck


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