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Author Topic: One for the ladies to answer....

February 20, 2020, 01:17:10 AM
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PaulE


Long story…sorry.
We met on Match.com. We both live in MN…55 miles apart. I am 58, male, attractive and fit…work a professional job. She is 65, retired from a successful career and she is former business owner...she's adorable, and she's very fit. I am once divorced and once widowed. She is twice divorced. We hit it off big time messaging on Match and then texting shortly thereafter. After 2 days of texting I left for a 3-week business trip to NY…we talked every night for hours for the next 10 days…and we hit it off big time. She decided to fly to NY to meet face to face because she couldn't wait to meet me. We spent the weekend together on Long Island…everything was awesome…great times and electrifying sex (we had sex just 5 hours after meeting face to face). We agreed to hide our Match profiles. She suggested that we get along on everything, and asked what would happen when we hit a bad note (and we WILL hit a bad note, she said). She also suggested that we would be great business partners and asked if I have money to invest. I say yes…I do…but commit to nothing. She went home on Monday and 2 days later she texted me and said she has to step back from the relationship before feelings are developed. I wait 2 days and text her when I return from NY on Friday night. We decide to meet at her house to talk about us. We meet…she says its too late, she has very strong feelings for me...but she needs to know that I have feelings for her too. I told her of course I do…we make up…everything is awesome again. She gives me the grand tour of her huge beautiful house (paid in full)…the tour ends in the master suite where she shows me that she has cleared a space for me in the closet for my clothes and a drawer in the bathroom for my stuff…she kisses me and says “welcome home”. This happened just over 3 weeks after connecting on Match.
2 weeks later I have to return to NY again, and again she comes to visit for a long weekend. She returns Monday, I return Friday. Everything is awesome again and I spend the weekends and one week-night at my new “home”…she fawns over me. A week later it’s the Monday before Christmas…she calls me Monday morning on my way to work and says that she met another man while volunteering for the Toys for Tots drive during my last week in NY…and she really likes him and she wants to see him again. I didn’t say a word, I just hung up on her. I remained silent for 8 days and finally contacted her on 12/30…and said “I don’t understand”. She invited me back to my new “home” to discuss….she says that she lied, there is no other man…she just wants to know that I want her in my life, and she wants to know that I love her. We make up…everything is awesome…sex is electrifying. During the 8 days of no contact I made plans for my yearly Winter trip to FLA…and I invite her to go with me. She gets a ticket and we spend 12 wonderful days in FLA. While in FLA we discuss buying a house in FLA, and she would open a new business while I do contract work…she asks if I have money to invest…I commit to nothing. Also...she asked me to move-in with her after we returned from Florida, and then she would sell her house after my rental lease is up in 4 months (my oldest daughter lives with  me) and then move in with me in the townhome I bought last September. I did not immediately respond to this...and I could tell she was irritated with me.
One day after returning from FLA I discovered that she un-hid her Match profile…and 3 days after returning from FLA she starts picking apart everything…making mountains out of molehills….and she breaks up with me (via text) stating that my four daughters have too much say in my life and she doesn’t have a chance (yes, she knows that I give my adult daughters money once in awhile). She belittles me…calls me a user, and a cheater, and a liar. She blocks me on everything, phone, Facebook, email. Her last text was to tell me that if I come anywhere near her she will call 911. 5 days later something tells me to check eHarmony…and there she is…. a brand new member. Interestingly enough, our shared compatibility score is an extremely high 127…nobody else is close. I wrote her 5 messages on eHarmony…she read them but did not respond. On the brighter side, she did not blow them away and she did not delete me as a match.
Since the last breakup I discovered that she is not twice divorced as she told me…she is thrice divorced. So she lied to me on two big issues.
It’s been just over 3 weeks since she broke up with me…no contact, no nothing. I found out over this last weekend that she not only [already] has a new man in her life, but it appears that he is living with her…she has stated to a mutual friend that she is now in a committed lifetime relationship (2.5 weeks after breaking up with me). Is it possible for a new man to commit to her on the level she wants after just 2.5 weeks after breaking up with me? Is it wise to commit to her on the level she wanted after just 2.5 months??? Some have suggested that the man she met (Toys for Tots) while I was in NY was [instead] another Match.com match whom she targeted (see 2 below)…and is perhaps the man she is with now.
I flip-flop between theories on this:
     1…she got tired of waiting for me to commit/surrender to her.…but isn’t 2.5 months too soon to commit on the level she wanted?
     2…she’s a scam artist who reels men in and then hits them-up for money (for her business ventures) and dumps them when she gets it. She mentioned that her son always tells her that she “screwed Dad financially in the divorce”. Her second husband was a business owner too…perhaps she screwed him too?
     3…it has been suggested that she is a narcissist with Radical Attachment Disorder, and she reacts to rejection by throwing temper tantrums…the blocking is meant to punish me, and the new man is also meant to punish me.

What the hell?

#dazed
#confused
#heartbroken
« Last Edit: February 20, 2020, 06:32:24 PM by PaulE »

 

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