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Author Topic: Not sure what to do with my marriage.

December 31, 2019, 11:19:23 AM
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phinjennings425


Hi everyone, I am new to the forum, this is my first post. Here's whats up, and I don't know what to do. My wife and I have been together for about 12 or 13 years, and have been married for the last 2ish. We have a pretty ok life together, no kids, decent income....  She is 10 years older than me, which may lead into some of the problem indirectly.  We rarely fight, and still get along pretty good. But, we also rarely have sex anymore, maybe like once every 3 weeks, and we even sleep in different beds. The thing is, I'm just not "Feeling it" anymore. I don't hate her, and no ones cheating and theres no abuse or any clear cut thing like that, which is why this is so confusing and difficult for me.  I know love isn't all roses, but I also want to feel passionate about my partner. I feel annoyed with her a lot, even her voice annoys me sometimes. I just feel like we have grown apart in the last couple of years, and I want to be a different person and see what else is out there. I never really did much dating when I was younger and kind of feel like I missed out.  She seems to still be in love with me too, at least she says she is anyway, but I'm not sure why because I don't really do much to deserve it. 

Then there's another situation - theres another woman I am kind of crazy about, and I know she is into me too. We work together (of course). It's not so much that I am into this girl in particular, but its more the fact that I can be into ANYONE else at all that worries me. I find myself constantly looking at other women more my age. I read recently that if you can even entertain the idea of cheating on someone then you are not really in love.

We have only talked about our relationship a little bit in the past year. Thing is I am terrible about talking to her about my feelings, and I don't want to hurt her yet obviously if she knew this it would hurt her a lot. On the other hand, we're not getting any younger and I don't know if I am wasting my time. But I did marry her and now I just don't know what to do.  Please help!

January 02, 2020, 01:43:42 AM
Reply #1
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Tony


It’s natural to be attracted to other people. It’s a fact of life. But don’t go ruining you marriage until you work through what it is you feel with your wife.

take some time to reflect on what you want in life, and spend some time together and be upfront that you aren’t sure where this is going. Sometimes people grow apart, it happens. But they can also reconnect as well

January 02, 2020, 10:25:54 AM
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phinjennings425


thanks for the advice, I appreciate the reply.  I guess I'm going to just have to speak to herm but I worry that by doing that i'll just F everything up.

 

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