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Author Topic: Not sure how to feel about this new relationship.

March 22, 2020, 03:41:09 AM
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Kacey1


Hello. So About alittle over a month ago. I (I’am senior in high school) got asked to a dance by a very close friend of mine. I’ve known her for about 15 years or so and she has a class or 2 with me. (She is also a senior). The night of the dance, I decided to ask her out. (Knowing that the feeling was mutual) since then, we’ve been dating to this point.

Over the course of the month things have been alittle up and down. She has a bit of a busy life and her mom is a bit restrictive so she has to keep things from her. Which In my own parents opinion, is not good. I personally agree with them, yet again her and I have fairly different backgrounds as well as restrictions. This has caused her to lie about where she’s at with her mom on some occasions. But mostly to hang out with me 😂😂.

We’ve seen each other about 3 times a week, although not at set times or days,  because of our work days and such. Texting as well has been a little lack luster,  but from what I can gather from her friends as well as personal accounts, that she has a slow response time. It had worried me in the past but it had become normal.

Well recently. My parents figured out that she didn’t tell her mom where she was. Which to my parents is a big no in there head. So my father as well as my mother forbade her from coming to our houses. Which, in the last week, did cause quite a bit turmoil. Well a couple nights ago. Her ex boyfriend came into town and she needed to help him with a family matter and to talk. Before she got picked up by him she texted me saying where she was going and what she was doing and promised that she wasn’t doing anything with him. She spent the night at his house. Which In my head, and I would assume as well as yours, is not a thing you should be doing in an active relationship. I asked why and she said, it was because they needed to talk about what they where and weren’t. She was very open about telling me the situation and almost encouraged it.

She said he didn’t take her home because they where up till 3 in the morning talking. She also reassured me that she was mostly making the point to him that she’s happy with me and that there just friends. She also said she spent the night in his sisters room and not with him. My parents believe that she’s lying and that I should split from her. Me seeing how she has lied to her parents before doesn’t help the situation In her case. While I had the same feeling that she may be lying, a large part of me is saying that I could be factual. 

My question to you is, should I head my parents words and break this relationship off or should I press on.

P.s. as of right now she has told her mom about us hanging out (we had to come to a compromise because a circumstance. We both agreed we should tell her mom that here just friends). My parents being what they are, want her mom to call them but her mother doesn’t want to and she doesn’t even want to meet me. She also said her mom is like this because she’s nervous of her daughter potential dating someone. Do you think this could be a red flag or the parent being difficult? We also still can hang out at my moms house.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2020, 04:07:28 AM by Kacey1 »

March 22, 2020, 06:54:21 AM
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LilyPouille


Hi Kacey1!

What we know :
1)you love her and she loves you back, and that's the most important thing.
2) she spent time with ex- boyfriend and was completly honest about the conversation and where she was going and where she slept. Maybe you should talk to her about this tricky situation, she seems to be really honest and open about her feelings, you should tell her how you feel, and that she should tell her mom she has a boyfriend.
3) she lied to her mother to meet her boyfriend, seems to me like every teenagers.
4) she already had a boyfriend it means even if her mother doesn't want her to have a boyfriend, she did it anyway.

In my opinion, there's no red flag to be scared of. You should tell your parents that this is your love story and you have to do your own mistakes about girls and dating.
Live. Just live.

 

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