Hello guys,

this is my first post, and I'm not super comfortable, but this situation has convinced me finally to talk about it:

I'm together with my girlfriend for a while now. Everything has been perfect, and we really like spending time with each other, taking care of each other, and really know what the other needs. Everything would be okay - except one thing:

I have been suffering under erectile dysfunction for a while, leading to the problem that sex has not been possible - we have resorted to other forms of intimacy. This has put a lot of stress on our relationship, and we talked about it. I started working on this, and noticed some serious improvements.

At the same time, she moved into my flat during the quarantine (we're both MBA students right now) - something that was not really planned, but in the end happened due to practical reasons...

In this situation (quarantine, not being able to go out, see other people) our relationship has suffered a bit.

One day I noticed her sending explicit texts to one of her friends - something about dancing dirty and his privates. When confronting her, she resorted to a misunderstanding and language issues (she's latina and writes with him in spanish).

I accepted that, and we moved on - still I was suspicious.

I snooped around her whatsapp, and found my suspicion confirmed: For 2 days, they have been talking dirty (what they would do to each other) and sending some private pictures (non-nudes from her, privates from him).

Now I really don't know what to do:

1. I know from the chat that this has been a one-time thing. No messages like that have been exchanged after that incident.
2. Nothing happened except this "sexting", and our relationship has been great, and improving again..

So here's my problem:
- If I confront her, I will need to let her know I've been snooping around her phone - a break of trust she might take as a reason to end the relationship, no matter whether the reason was valid or not
- On one hand I can understand her sexual desire in a time of frustration, but then again I believe there are other ways besides writing friends
- I don't know yet if I can forget it if I don't bring that topic up..

Sorry for the long text, but I hope you have some ideas for me...

It is frustrating dealing with erectile dysfunction. A lot of guys do. I do from time to time with no explanation other than nervous energy regarding performance and a prior surgery that may have messed up some of the sexual nerves.

With your issue in mind, she should not be looking for sex with another man unless she is honest and upfront about opening the relationship up.

It is obvious there is not a language barrier. She is not stupid. She is cheating. Because of this it will likely never have a chance unless she responds correctly to you confronting her. Perhaps you two need to be more open sexually. But there has to be trust. And communication. And she's broken those two things. I'd confront her but know likely it isn't meant to be.

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