Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: Need advice: Girlfriend has been sexting during "dryspel" / sexual frustration

May 22, 2020, 11:53:26 AM
Read 395 times
Offline

EspMar


Hello guys,

this is my first post, and I'm not super comfortable, but this situation has convinced me finally to talk about it:

I'm together with my girlfriend for a while now. Everything has been perfect, and we really like spending time with each other, taking care of each other, and really know what the other needs. Everything would be okay - except one thing:

I have been suffering under erectile dysfunction for a while, leading to the problem that sex has not been possible - we have resorted to other forms of intimacy. This has put a lot of stress on our relationship, and we talked about it. I started working on this, and noticed some serious improvements.

At the same time, she moved into my flat during the quarantine (we're both MBA students right now) - something that was not really planned, but in the end happened due to practical reasons...

In this situation (quarantine, not being able to go out, see other people) our relationship has suffered a bit.

One day I noticed her sending explicit texts to one of her friends - something about dancing dirty and his privates. When confronting her, she resorted to a misunderstanding and language issues (she's latina and writes with him in spanish).

I accepted that, and we moved on - still I was suspicious.

I snooped around her whatsapp, and found my suspicion confirmed: For 2 days, they have been talking dirty (what they would do to each other) and sending some private pictures (non-nudes from her, privates from him).

Now I really don't know what to do:

1. I know from the chat that this has been a one-time thing. No messages like that have been exchanged after that incident.
2. Nothing happened except this "sexting", and our relationship has been great, and improving again..

So here's my problem:
- If I confront her, I will need to let her know I've been snooping around her phone - a break of trust she might take as a reason to end the relationship, no matter whether the reason was valid or not
- On one hand I can understand her sexual desire in a time of frustration, but then again I believe there are other ways besides writing friends
- I don't know yet if I can forget it if I don't bring that topic up..

Sorry for the long text, but I hope you have some ideas for me...

May 26, 2020, 09:32:52 AM
Reply #1
Offline

Yvain


Hey!

I don't think you should try to forget what you saw. You'll be thinking about it whether you want it or not, and everytime she does something a little suspicious, you'll start to look for (and actually find) correlations.

Depending on what you are willing to do with her, there are I think 2 options.

1. You tell her you can't help thinking about that dancing dirty text, that you're positive there was no language misunderstanding, and that you need her to tell you the truth, about what she's been doing, if she's sending or receiving dirty messages or anything. You can tell her you understand current situation isn't easy on her, but that you just need to hear the truth.
If she hides the truth, then just ask yourself : "do I wish to spend my life with a girl who does dirty talks with other guys, hide it from me, and lie to me when I try to confront her?".
If your answer is yes, and you think she is worth that risk (it could escalate pretty easily), then just forget about it and get ready for depression.
If your answer is no, tell her that you saw what she had been done, that you know you broke a trust once, but she did twice, both by doing the dirty talk and by lying to you. And then depending on what she says, you might break up.

2. You confront her. This will probably end up with a break up.

I just don't feel there is a scenario where you can hide what you know, live in the fear of being made a fool of, and still become happy with her.
You can forgive her for what she did once, but you can't live with it despite the fear and the pain.
So best case scenario : she admits what she's done, and apologize about it. Then you can decide to move on (or not).

Good luck anyway!

June 02, 2020, 04:38:23 AM
Reply #2
Offline

peteraudio10


It is frustrating dealing with erectile dysfunction. A lot of guys do. I do from time to time with no explanation other than nervous energy regarding performance and a prior surgery that may have messed up some of the sexual nerves.

With your issue in mind, she should not be looking for sex with another man unless she is honest and upfront about opening the relationship up.

It is obvious there is not a language barrier. She is not stupid. She is cheating. Because of this it will likely never have a chance unless she responds correctly to you confronting her. Perhaps you two need to be more open sexually. But there has to be trust. And communication. And she's broken those two things. I'd confront her but know likely it isn't meant to be.

September 12, 2020, 02:12:45 PM
Reply #3
Offline

Heal26


Hey Im a guy and i read this book mainly because im an avid reader... but i read this book and it's just like Art Of Seduction but aimed for WOMEN. I mean straight jewels and OMG I think most of you lovely ladies who are going through relationsip issues, breakups, heart aches, disrespect from us men can actually gain your self inner Woman back if I can put it that way... Well it was a good read to Me and highly eduacating for me in understanding a Women. https://bit.ly/3iqMrqv

September 12, 2020, 08:04:22 PM
Reply #4
Offline

Sex Jack


For relationship help please call  us on (541) 275-0848  if no answer please leave a message you can  also  text.

Jack

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
1 Replies
878 Views
Last post September 04, 2018, 04:21:39 AM
by goodevening
3 Replies
2173 Views
Last post April 08, 2019, 01:06:36 PM
by richie123
1 Replies
794 Views
Last post August 21, 2019, 09:51:51 PM
by Ashley_91
6 Replies
957 Views
Last post April 08, 2020, 02:32:49 AM
by DreamGuyxo
5 Replies
725 Views
Last post April 07, 2020, 05:42:14 AM
by LilyPouille
0 Replies
235 Views
Last post April 29, 2020, 09:53:26 AM
by Dany-Mog
2 Replies
356 Views
Last post October 06, 2020, 10:43:00 AM
by Alex
0 Replies
212 Views
Last post May 26, 2020, 02:48:24 AM
by wnr
2 Replies
261 Views
Last post June 14, 2020, 01:50:05 PM
by str8w8
2 Replies
294 Views
Last post October 06, 2020, 10:45:14 AM
by Alex
1 Replies
122 Views
Last post October 21, 2020, 02:36:07 AM
by Bisexual001
2 Replies
245 Views
Last post January 03, 2021, 10:54:14 AM
by luckyboy99