I have been married to my wife for almost ten years now. We had quite a smooth start as we were dating up until at the early stage of our marriage. However, as time went by, it seems like she is losing interest in me. It seems like she is not happy with our marriage anymore. It feels like loving me is now a burden for her; I feel like I am already a burden to her. I tried all the tips I read online, most especially from that of an international marriage agency, but it seems like she’s about to give up on our marriage and I cannot change that in her. She has not said anything about it though but that is what I feel. What should I do?

Sorry to hear that you're having concerns in your marriage @blueboltSD.

I think you need to provide more advice in terms of what you said regarding that she's losing interest in you.

What makes you believe this?

Naturally, over time, especially when you're married, it's normal for you both to not love each other as much as you once did. It's really sad but it's part of what happens in a normal, healthy relationship. The spark isn't as it used to be.

It may be that you're looking into the issue to much, unless you have viable reasons to why she may be losing interest?

How can I tell my wife she has a big fuppa without hurting her feelings I love her dearly

Try to reinvent yourself. Maybe go shopping for some new clothes, just change up your style a bit. Take your wife out more. Do the things you to did when you first started dating.

I am sorry. You feel it, you know it. Things changed between you two. After ten years together, possibly all relationships and marriages go thru rough patches. All advice given is valid: be tender to her, surprise her with little attentive moments when she is not expecting, a note at her bedside saying simply that she is the woman you want and need. If you have kids and can, perhaps leave the younger ones at the care of someone you trust and go out for dinner or drinks, open the topic of you feeling her distance candidly, no accusations, no hard feelings. She what she would share with you when you are relaxed and focusing on you two only without interruptions. Let her know that she is still - after all these years together - the woman you would choose if you could go back in time. Good luck! Be faithful that open communication, and small steps in the right direction can and will bring back the wife you love.

Asking her directly would be your best bet. Going to her and telling her what you believe is going on and asking for her answer. For example telling her that you feel like she doesn't want to be married anymore and than ask her just that...if she still wants to be married. You can do that for every concern you have. Confronting the issue head on would be your best bet. Actions do say alot but sometimes people misinterpret actions and project their own feeling or fears onto another person, so asking that person directly is the best bet.

bring back the happy moments that both of you make, i think that is the only way to save your relationship

She isn't attracted to you. Don't take that to mean it is about your looks.  It was how you made her feel about herself -- that feeling you gave her was what made her attracted  to you. Can you make her feel again what she felt long ago? Don't shower her with gifts, flowers, etc. Instead she has to see you as the man you were when she met you. At one time you made her feel something and that feeling is now gone. Your road isn't an easy one. Don't overreact, don't complain, don't tell her you love her every minute, don't beg, don't push her away but instead be confident and do what's good for you so she can see you in a different way. If you are persistent, slowly (be patient) she may come around.

It’s not only your problem bro these days. In these situations, I can only say that try to bring the issue out of her heart so that you came to know the exact reason behind her. My first advice to you is that spend some time with her out of the station.  Give some extra time in any romantic places. Hope your relation get better results by this.

@Talkingpoint88, I agree with you and appreciate your thought as well. If you know the nature of your wife, what she likes and what she not...then definitely you can find the best way to make her in one or other way.

@domo2211 I agree with you, but it is also true that life without family and friends is incomplete. So get your identity within your relation...

Tough one. But the chances are it is one of two things or both (1) she's not attracted to you anymore and (2) she lost an emotional connection with you.

The attraction part is usually easier to fix. If you need to lose weight, do it. If you need to dress up better, do it. If you need to get a hair cut, cut away and so on. Think of you dating days and how you would go all out to look your best for her. That's what she needs or wants.

The emotional connection is something that usually happens to couples who life becomes one big routine -- it is boring. But that isn't as easy to fix just by showing her a good time for a few nights. It takes time. At one time she felt as if you got her, that  you understood her, and usually this feeling what makes a woman fall in love. Now if she feels that connection is gone, tough to get back if for  years you have been ignoring her emotional connection. But you got to start somewhere. What makes this even tougher is usually the guy has to take blame for the marriage having problems even if he doesn't feel he deserves it. You basically have to apologize for EVERYTHING, tell her you love her and want to renew that love. And every day you have to work at it and never, never, never let her down emotionally.

I'm trying to post a question but it's telling me I have to reply to someone elses first?

@henny...nice, you are right...if @blueboltSD, giving time to your wife and your wife also do the same then…. definitely you both came back on track....sooner or later

I hear you, good luck I hope things get better

You have to confront her and get to the bottom of her dissatisfaction. If either party is not communicating such dissatisfaction, that's the problem. How can either party know what to change or do differently, if s/he does not know what's the problem?

Hi BlueBolt,

Maybe trying this smoother method will help, I suggest don't use the top brain to think anymore since its' not helping you.
bit.ly/GetHerToBed
gd luck.

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