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Author Topic: my wife is cheating me without actually cheating me

October 28, 2019, 01:51:07 PM
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I am and Indian men of age 37 and I have been married for twelve years now and we have 2 kids. According to her, when I was younger, I didn’t really put enough effort into our relationship. May be it was true, but I remember doing a lot for her.may be that wasn't enough, but I have said a sorry thousands of time and have made an all out conscious effort for last 5 years now. I’m feeling at my most weak and vulnerable.

For the record, we both have never cheated each other. I love her so much that I can't think of any other women. She has got enough chances and opportunities but she has never cheated me. I have never followed her nor have I ever checked her phone. I just have complete faith in her. 

But I feel that she doesn't loves me anymore.

It feels like we’re just going through the motions. I don’t think she fancies me anymore.

Our sex life is crap; she’s not interested and doesn’t put any effort into it. She won't even move a hand. She enjoys it but never fancies it or is never excited about it.

We have talked about it long and hard with a very very calm mind and tone but she says that there is nothing like that and that there is no.problem. She says she is committed to our relationship, but I just don’t buy it. I don't think her heart’s in it, but she says it’s all in my head. I really believe she’s just staying for the sake of the kids and society.  She loves one of my kid so much that she can't sleep without him. He is just 6 and he won't leave her side either. To be very true and unfortunately, I am so jealous of my kid. She kisses him like hundreds of time per hour but won't kiss me even if I beg to her for a single kiss on my cheeks or even hand. She hugs him whole night but I don't even remember she did that to me remotely out of her own free will. I have tried everything like showering my love on her, being on a date with her, expensive foreign trips, talking with her, helping her in her work, helping her with kids, talking her out, movies, dinners clothes shopping etc. I have expressed my love to her in all possible ways by saying I love you but I am dying to here her say that she loves me too. I have tried good sex and then i have tried sleeping with her by just holding her hands or cuddling with her. But nothing worked.

Whenever we talk about this, she says that she don't know what to say or how to express her love, so just shutup and sleep. If I push her more, she would say that initially I never gave her time and so she is now unable to give me sometime and that even though I have changed but she won't change ever.

My self-confidence has disappeared. I feel like a shadow of my former self. This is making me miserable, overprotective and jealous.

She gets a lot of attention from other men but she never cares about them and keeps it professional at her work. She works hard but she is a lazy girl. But she knows her responsibilities so she works hard for taking care of me, my kids and family. She talks on phone with every one in her life like her mom, her friends, her co workers and others but won't have a chat with me even on messenger or Whatsapp.

I can’t talk to anyone. I’m feeling sick, lonely and depressed. I have even threatened her that I will end my life if she doesn't clears her position on weather she loves me or not. I think that was a mistake and I said sorry to her for that. I don't think she noticed it. But I did. But I strongly feel that way. A couple of years back I had a similar conversation with her and she told me that she doesn't loves me any more. But now she says that it's all in my head and she is doing everything a wife should do.
It feels as if she is cheating me without seeing someone else. I feel like she is cheating me in worst possible way. I can see her but she is not there. I can see her but I can't feel her. She is there but she is not here for me. She knows I am angry and I am hurting and I am suffering every minute, but that doesn't affects her at all.

Please help me as I am on my brink of loosing my mind.


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