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Author Topic: My Relationships Keep Ending For Similar Reasons, any Advice?

March 02, 2020, 08:41:49 PM
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Hey everyone, so I've been in about seven different relationships in my life, six of which I would say are truly meaningful to me, and I noticed that five of them ended for similar reasons, and I'm starting to wonder if the issue is me, how I can fix this, and get a relationship to last longer than 7 months, and hopefully for a life time.

Relationship #1 ended because I was young enough to let my parents interfere in the relationship, as they truly disliked the person I was with, said she had major issues and wasn't right for me.. I listened to them eventually and ended the first one. They didnt like that her social media posts were always negative and how I would have to drive 30+ mins all the time to see her and always had to pay the bill when we went out. (Keep in mind I was like 18 at the time, relatively young)

Relationship #2 ended because the person didn't have their priorities straight, they were content living with no job, no college education, in a terrible living situation, and had no motivation to improve at the time, I didn't like that at all.

Relationship #3 ended because the person I was with would seemingly blow off more than one night where we were supposed to see each other, to spend time with her "gay" best friend(s) and not me.. I learned from this and recognize I was wrong for being jelous, but still it bothered me that she put them first and seemingly had no time to spend

Relationship #4 just constantly cancelled dates for every excuse in the book, would set a makeup day, and then cancel the date again, this happened constantly, I felt like I saw her maybe 6 times in a two year on and off period of trying to actually make it work, something would always come up with her

Relationship #5, my most recent one, long story short, pretty much ended for all of the above reasons. There were trust issues, she got mad & flipped out that I sent a mere 5 messages to a female stranger (person added me on facebook, I said I dont add strangers, but I wanted to get to know them before deciding to add weather on Messenger, instagram, snapchat etc, my ex saw that and flipped out, ended the relationship) she would cancel dates every now and then, my parents didn't like her, claimed she had major issues, it was really a combination of everything that happened to me in the past, all in one person..

Can someone explain to me What I am doing wrong, why do I keep having similar types of issues in relationships? I'm always the most honest person I can be, I'm super nice, I'm always myself, try to see the person as often as possible, I'm good at expressing my feelings, but none of my relationships work out ultimately. None of my relationships lasted more than 7 months, and I absolutely hate that. I met most of these people via the Plenty of Fish (POF online dating app) & similar free online dating apps. Is POF filled with people who just aren't looking for what I am, something long-term, and serious, and am I looking in the wrong places? I hardly ever go out unless it's with a close group of 3 or 4 friends, so the only way I can meet people is through online dating, but so far they've all ended relatively short and I just am starting to feel hopeless at this point.

I'm a 26 year old Male, if that helps anyone.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. 
« Last Edit: March 02, 2020, 08:45:18 PM by JCDallas »

April 18, 2020, 11:55:00 PM
Reply #1


Hi JCDallas,

For the #1, I will do the same if I were your parent. If you can choose, why choose a negative rather than a positive? Drive 30mins+ seems ok to me since you are the one who was wooing her and some effort needed to be put in and is very normal. You have to pay the bill for the meal is quite subjective. What I can say is those who pay the bill are either more serious toward the relationship/date or they are being taught like that from parent, friend, tv show, FB and etc.

For #2, absolutely no problem of leaving her.

For #3, A gay friend who is more important than you is ok but if she break a promise bcoz of the friend then it should be her fault, not you.

For #4, worse than #3, she is not serious about relationship. It can be not ready for a stable relationship, dating with more than 1 guy and etc.

For #5, based on what you have said, her trust is the problem. You didnt do anything wrong. Maybe her past experience cause her to be like this. Need extra time, caring to fix her insecurity.

For online dating app, firstly, you need to know what kind of people would use that. Person like you, serious for a relationship and those who are not serious for a long-term relationship (they are either finding FWB, testing their pick up ability, find a Plan B, find some spark and etc) You wouldnt know if the person is serious or not unless you spend some time with them.


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