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Author Topic: My girlfriend has no hobbies or interests. Stressed!

November 15, 2019, 07:07:42 AM
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I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years. She moved into my rented house fairly quickly and we didn't have a single argument for 6-8 months. We moved in with my parents for a year and have bought a house together. We are renovating and are now close to moving in together but cracks are starting to show in our relationship.

She doesn't drive, her friends are far away and any remaining friends... she has pushed away herself. I'm with her constantly when I'm home from work. Every time I go out for the day or evening, even just once a month she gets funny with me. Her only hobbies are shopping, nails, hair and watching crap on TV with me. I love cars, football, gaming and learning about pretty much anything I can. I feeling like I'm made to give up what I love to tend to her and when I try to approach her about it she gets angry, upset and makes me feel extremely guilty.

I can feel myself becoming increasingly distant the more she pushes against me. I can only watch so many Adam Sandler films before losing my mind. I love seeing my friends and getting a break from it all. Work is tough, I'm doing 5 peoples jobs, renovating a house and running my own design business. I just need a break.

Will things get better when we get into the house and settle down again or will she be forever controlling what I do?

November 15, 2019, 07:20:48 AM
Reply #1

Captain Black

You have left it a bit late for that as you have now got your house together . You should have been noticing these traits well before . I am not sure if it will get better by just living together .

I think what you need to do is to talk to her and discuss the issues that are making you unhappy . That way you can both make some compromises and agree a way forward. For example you could agree on a certain amount of chill time for yourself whereby you can do your own thing. Most guys need a certain amount of chill time and I am no different.

But at end of the day you need to discuss it with her as without communication its difficult for a relationship to prosper.

November 15, 2019, 12:37:34 PM
Reply #2


hmm ... looks like you got a depressed girlfriend on your hands. I would try to discover what's she depressed about, but with a strategy, not directly. buy her flowers one day and see how she reacts, if it's positive, then initiate a conversation that would lead to getting her to answer what she's depressed about.

November 20, 2019, 03:35:09 AM
Reply #3


My partner has these traits too, she has very few friends or hobbies and although says its fine for me to do those things always seems to get funny when I do. I still havent found a solution, no matter how many ideas i propose or suggestions I make she still just stays at home. Its very frustrating and I sympathise. My resolution at the moment is just to do the things I enjoy anyway...but that's now putting a strain on the relationship too.

November 20, 2019, 03:44:21 PM
Reply #4


One of the best things you could do would be to include her in some of your hobbies. Whenever you go out, ask her if she'd like to tag along. Buy a few multiplayer games and play with her or bring her along to a football game. If she doesn't share the same interests, then discover new ones together. Leave out one day each week to try something new together and potentially the pair of you could gain some common interests. Go swimming together, go bowling, take cooking classes, go to the movies rather than sitting indoors and watching one on TV. Once she starts leaving her comfort zone, she may start to become a lot more motivated to try new things.

November 22, 2019, 12:33:30 PM
Reply #5


I'm not sure if I can help a ton in this regard but I just wanted to comment as I have experienced this problem frequently in dating. It surprises me how often I end up on a date with someone who seems to have no interests in life. No hobbies, no aspirations, nothing. Just works a job she tolerates, works out, and watches Netflix. I personally find that no matter how physically attractive a person like that is that I never really find myself interested.

In regards to your situation, I'm of the belief that one of the greatest mistakes both men and women do is expecting their SO to change. Either love them for who they are now or find someone who you do love. Don't hope someone will magically change or try to force them to change. It only ever leads to toxicity.

November 22, 2019, 12:40:52 PM
Reply #6


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