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Author Topic: Lost Love

May 23, 2019, 05:58:00 PM
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Limitlesslove


Eleven years ago I met a girl that has changed my life forever. We were both in high school at the time and she was in the grade below me.
The first time I saw her I instantly was attracted to her, but she was dating someone else. They ended up breaking up, and eventually we ended up going out. Looking back on it now, knowing what I do now, I was extremely lucky to have this girl in my life. Being young and dumb, I didn’t realize what I had. We were both physically attracted to each but at such a young age, I knew nothing about love, or how to treat someone you love. We ended up dating off and on for a little over two years. During our relationship we both thought we would be together forever, but things changed. I ended up joining the military a year after high school, and she was about to graduate. Our lives were truly about to start. I joined the military and it changed the plans and it started to create distance between us and our relationship. I shipped out and came back, she was the first person I wanted to see. We ended up getting together while I was back on leave and it was amazing. I spent the last night before I had to leave with her and it was hard to leave her. Left again for while to attend some schools and came back. While I was gone I  thought about her quite  often, and we would talk occasionally. She wanted to come see me when I got back, for some reason I ignored but she still came over to see me. I remember her looking at me with excitement, it was great but my mood at the time was not the same. For reason I let my bad side take over and I told her I didn’t love her anymore, and I still did. It was one of the dumbest things I have ever done,  she left extremely upset and me being young and dumb didn’t care like I should have. I just let her go. That was one of the worst things I could have done. We didn’t have a perfect relationship by any means, but we had love. Which I also didn’t realize how much that she actually loved me, or how long she stuck around, or how many times she forgave me. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment, I’m extremely sorry for what I did and wish I could change it. With everything that had happened I didn’t deserve that girl, and I lost her. I tried for as long as I could to get her back but nothing worked. No matter how much time I waited, or what little thing I thought I could change. It wasn’t enough, and it was to late. Time went by and I realized that a lot of the problems that came from the relationship were mine. I left here alone and time went on. I still think about her I’d say almost everyday. I am in a relationship with someone else that I do care about a lot, but I have never felt the way I did with my first love with anyone else. Anyway time went on she started dating another guy. She ended up messaging me randomly asking how I was and talking about or past. Just seeing message from her filled me with emotions we talked for a day or so
and then not six months later the guy she had been dating proposed to her.  It really destroyed me inside when I found out she would be getting married soon. I felt like I had lost of piece of me. She ended up getting married to that guy, they also now have a kid together. I would never do anything to mess up their relationship, but I always wonder what life would be like had I known how to express my feelings better. It really sucks seeing someone you love with someone else and knowing what you had will never be again. I know I’m not in love with her, but I’m pretty sure I will always love her.  Treat the people you love the way you would want to be treated, an don't take your loved ones for granted.  Today I really wanted to message her after over two years of not talking but instead I wrote this. Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated!
« Last Edit: May 27, 2019, 08:20:58 PM by Limitlesslove »

May 26, 2019, 12:35:10 AM
Reply #1
Offline

swl1969


Seems you lost your love because of immaturity. The price to learn the lesson was high.
I am not sure about your personality, but if it was me I'd text her to say hi. If she replies, it means she is willing to be friend. But if she doesn't, never contact her. She moved on from someone who broke her heart and she doesn't want to recall and go through that pain again.
In above case, you need to move on too. Your disappearance might be a favor to her.
And hopefully in your next relationship, follow your heart(not the reality), and face what your true feeling is.
It's extremely difficult to find someone who you love and who loves you back. Wish you have better luck next time!

 

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