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Author Topic: Lied about my age

August 19, 2019, 10:51:18 PM
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I met this girl at work. After a while I noticed some chemistry between us and started flirting. Once I changed my job, we continued flirting and have been dating for a year now.

There is an age difference. I am 47 and she is 28. When we started flirting, for some reason I told her I was 4 years younger.

The relationship has been perfect. We moved in together 3 months ago and we’ve been in seventh heaven.

Today she found out (I don’t even know how) and confronted me about it. I apologized, explained that I wanted to tell her but the longer the relationship continued the more afraid I became. Fearing this day.

She gave me an hour to move out. I just took some things (leaving the rest hoping, that we can work through this) and asked her to forgive me and that we should talk. She texted back, that she needed to be alone today.

I know that I lied and that she feels that she can’t trust me. But for the past year, I’ve shown her and tried to show her everyday that she’s is my everything. I’ve treated her with nothing but respect and love for the past year.

Can she forgive me? Did I really screw this up? Should I give her space?
How can I show her that she can trust me? That she always can trust me?
« Last Edit: August 20, 2019, 02:48:48 AM by Dante72 »

August 20, 2019, 04:06:55 AM
Reply #1


I don't think you did anything particularly wrong. Four years is nothing - it's not like it changes the context of the relationship you had. If she loves you she should be able to see past this, with an acknowledgement from you that, yes, maybe you should have come clean earlier. Doesn't seem the kind of thing to question a relationship over.

In terms of trust; everybody lies to a degree and on the scale of lies I would count this as low down. It's not the kind of lie to question someone's trust IMO.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2019, 04:09:02 AM by vexcoda »

August 20, 2019, 06:40:14 PM
Reply #2


My child's father did this to me as well. Told me he was 40 when in reality he was 45. It really isn't that much of a difference since those years arent the difference between legal and not legal....youre both grown but if she's anything like me....its the fact that you lied...thats it. She should be able to get over it...it could be worse....at least you didn't lie about your name too!!!

If you're reaching out to her and she's rejecting your every attempt....just give her some space to come back around...but don't beat yourself up about it.

August 21, 2019, 05:12:11 AM
Reply #3


I've been reaching out - texting. Telling her, that I know that I made a mistake. I lied before we started dating and never told her the truth. I guess I was afraid. And the longer we went out...even after we moved in together, the stronger this fear grew.

I met her yesterday. On her way home from work, gave her flowers and asked for 5 minutes. Explained, that I know how badly i screwed up. And tried to assure her, that that was the lie. I have been truthful from the beginning. I told her, that she can still trust me, but not because of my words. To remember the past year. Ever day, every act, ever time I was always there. That she could count on me. To just remember.

She said that she remember, but needs time to put things together.

I know that I should give her space. We've spent the last year seeing each every single weekend. Sometimes during he week. We've been texting non-stop from the begining and now even though I know she needs space - it's very hard.

Can't imagine not going to sleep beside her and not waking up to that beautiful face every morning...

I guess at least it's a good sign that she does read my texts. Sometimes writes back. That she hasn't asked me to move my stuff out and hasn't asked for her stuff back. Maybe I'm just rationalizing...but it helps
« Last Edit: August 21, 2019, 05:14:23 AM by Dante72 »

August 21, 2019, 07:39:39 PM
Reply #4


she was probably looking for an excuse to leave you, move on and do some daygame

August 23, 2019, 09:43:28 AM
Reply #5


Here the problem is you lied to her. And you lied for a little thing. For that reason she did this I thnink. She might thought that he is lying for a simple thing and for serious things he will automatically lie.
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