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Author Topic: Is this betrayal or am I being stupid?

September 11, 2019, 07:43:33 AM
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qwertyscream


Hi,

I feel really angry, although my girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) doesn't see why I should be and in-turn, has become angry at me for being angry at her.

Long story short...

My girlfriend has applied for a job at a company that she knows full well the history of the feud between my family (cousins) and them. The owner was business partners with my cousin, and basically, they stole almost a million pounds and my cousins took them to court. The money they lost, caused my family to lose their house and sell two offices. My cousins luckily won the court case and are back on track.

Now, my girlfriend knows this fact and we've had discussions with her parents on how he did us over and were all pretty conclusive that this guy is scum of the earth. In fact, we recently had this discussion just 3 weeks ago.

Turns out that she has applied for a job at that very company that screwed my family over and has an interview today at 2.30pm...

I am absolutely livid. I feel absolutely betrayed and I'm very hurt actually.

I tried to be cool about it yesterday (when she finally revealed to me the place she applied for), but today, I blew my lid and told her my upset. But now she's blocked me.

She's very selfish. I don't know what to do. I've asked her to "make the right choice", but ultimately, she's going for the interview without regard for what it symbolises, going ahead with it.

And get this. When she worked at her previous employment, she got sacked from it- I got head hunted from that company and was offered a role as operations assistant. I discussed with her if this is something she'd be comfortable with, she said "we're done if you take this" and that was the end of my career beginnings in an industry that I love. I declined the employment offer out of loyalty for her. I brought this very fact up as well, and she "doesn't remember". Of course she doesn't, because it suits her not to remember and then she twists the story entirely.

However, she's now gone behind my back and applied to someone who left my family homeless. It's very different and it makes me wish I took up the other job she told me not to go for because of her history there.

Am I wrong to be feeling the way I do?

She told me "we're done", over me pointing out her betrayal, even after recent discussions. I don't know how to react..?

I feel betrayed, completely.

I don't even know what to ask here other than am I in the wrong for feeling the way I do and has she got a right to be angry at me for feeling upset over her traitor behaviour?

Any advice is welcome.

Thank you!

September 14, 2019, 03:10:09 AM
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Dandy04


I think you're justified in feeling this way. I think the minimum respect she could have shown you is talk to you about her interest or intent in even applying for the job. She shouldn't have waited until the interview. She sounds selfish in this situation.

That said, is it her dream job? Why did she apply here knowing the history with your family? Maybe there's something bigger at play here that neither of you are taking about. It's okay for her to want things. But she needs to take you into consideration at the same time.

My advice is have a genuine conversation about it. She'll either be open and honest, and you can discuss it in detail, or she'll be closed off and stubborn, giving you a giant red flag to get out.

But communication is a must.

 

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