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Author Topic: Idk if I should call it quits

January 28, 2019, 11:32:53 PM
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Reem1163


I've been dating a woman for 7 months. She has an ex that follows her on social media and she follows him back. He has a way of sporadically leaving messages under her post... She doesn't seem to encourage or discourage him either. As a means to cope I told her I wouldn't look at her social media profile anymore as she said it was me being insecure.  She has an exhibit coming up next week and she is promoting it on her profile and the ex replied "this seems interesting" she responded " hope to see u there ;)" I haven't mentioned to her that I saw it because I technically told her I wouldn't look at her page anymore. My concern is I'm attending the event as well and it just seems messy for me to go.. I don't know how to address this with her without seeming insecure.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2019, 11:34:36 PM by Reem1163 »

February 05, 2019, 05:03:17 PM
Reply #1
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Alcoholc-69-x


I strongly recommend you stop watching all her social media and buy a 50 cal to deal with the guy :)
No seriously, don't trust anyone who's seeing their ex. Whatever reason they have to do it, it's bullshit. There's a difference between posting on social media and actually meeting. If you go there and she's chatting with her ex like nothings wrong: find yourself a better woman.

February 05, 2019, 06:52:29 PM
Reply #2
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winstonjack


ditto from above message. Move on! "Hoping to see you there" isn't something someone would say unless they meant it.

February 08, 2019, 08:36:05 PM
Reply #3
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giants56


MOVE ON! That's so wrong on so many levels. Has nothing to do with being insecure...no one wants to be made a fool of!

February 09, 2019, 10:12:55 PM
Reply #4
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SarahLancaster


Really, you're overreacting.  So what if a friend of hers said he'll see her at a place, especially when  you're going too.  Just be mature and greet him the way you'd greet any friend of a friend.  Jealousy is very unattractive.  Confidence is sexy.
"But the rain is full of ghosts tonight, that tap upon the glass and listen for reply."

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

February 10, 2019, 07:37:05 PM
Reply #5
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Atopthelimetree


     Maybe she's right to call it insecurity, but she's not doing anything to make you feel secure about it. There's not much difference between leaving doors open that should be closed and opening doors that shouldn't be opened.

     Her ex is obviously a chapter of her life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel that chapter is closed. As for the comment that you're being jealous... Yeah, but on a completely rational level. Maybe she isn't leading him on, but she should be firm in shutting that door with him anytime he tries to open it. And if she can't do that out of respect for you, find a new relationship bro.

February 12, 2019, 07:12:31 AM
Reply #6
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JimInChicago


On the one hand, you might be overreacting. But if she was truly vested in your relationship, she wouldn't be in contact with her ex, especially knowing that it makes you feel uncomfortable.  But I could be wrong.

March 16, 2019, 06:00:11 PM
Reply #7
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lost_a


7 months isn't a long time now in days.  If she still have her on social media than something must be going on.  Unless they have a kid together but even than they should be following each other.  I'd say move on as well, especially if she put the wink emoji.

March 18, 2019, 10:12:09 PM
Reply #8
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Frustrated


Being an insecure person myself, I understand what you're thinking. I knew a girl in high school, and we both liked each other but never did anything about it. about a year after we were out we got together. we were seeing each other for a little while and one night I went over to her apartment for a party. She had one guy in particular who seemed a little more friendly than I was comfortable with. We kinda  separated and the next time I saw her she was pregnant with his kid. Personally, I've always found it best to go with your gut feeling.

July 26, 2019, 01:11:39 PM
Reply #9
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SNG1989


In my opinion, I feel that it is incredibly disrespectful, not to mention they clearly aren't over each other. When her and her Ex split, did she actually give herself time to deal with the end of the relationship, or did she just jump into a new one right away? I would assume that she didn't cope with the ending of the relationship and is having issues letting it go.

If you truly care about someone and respect someone, this stuff shouldn't be happening. If she knows how you feel and doesn't care about it or change what she is doing, then she isn't committed to you.

I would take a step back and evaluate your relationship... Are you truly happy, do you trust her? If you answer no to either, you should be thinking about YOUR own future and making YOU happy.

August 12, 2019, 12:51:39 AM
Reply #10
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licey327


It'll be fine, man. Maybe they are just friends. Same thing happens to me and my ex, we talk to each other from time to time and I have absolutely 0 feelings for her whatsoever.

August 14, 2019, 03:18:23 PM
Reply #11
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Xericles1551


You need to put everything on the Table.  It makes sense that you feel this way.  If she cares she'll listen to you make the appropriate changes without making you feel bad. 

August 20, 2019, 03:43:32 AM
Reply #12
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Dante72


Social media is sometimes a curse. But if she’s dating you, then either she should stop following him or discourage his posts. Mainly she should stop following him...

August 20, 2019, 09:04:09 AM
Reply #13
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vexcoda


I don't disagree with any of the above as such, but more context is needed to know which bit of advice is the best option.
I can certainly see the point of view that she might not have completely disconnected from her ex and there maybe still feelings there, but equally, they could just be friends. It would have been good to know how they broke up. I still count two ex's from more than 25 years ago as friends on social media and that's all it is and all it ever will be, we all moved on. Of course, this situation is different as it is fresher and the moving on part seems to still be in infancy, but my point is, the way they split could have been amicable and the could still be friends and that's all. Before choosing the best option finding more info about how they split would be best, because how you react to this could impact the relationship negatively.

Also, I don't think it is good for the relationship if one part of the couple feels they have to stay of the other's social media - that doesn't seem right.

 

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