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Author Topic: I need more intimacy

March 02, 2019, 06:11:26 AM
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Kaynyne


I’m in a long distance relationship with this girl.( I know there is a forum for this, I just want to post it on both Incase one is more active, with more viewpoints.) We’ve been together for a little bit over a year, and she moved 5 months into the relationship. We talked about if we should stay together when she moved and if it would be for the best for both of us or not. We decided it wouldn’t be detrimental, as we could continue talking the same amount and communicate just as well. However, I noticed right before she moved her attitude changed a lot in the relationship. She barely talked to me at her going away party, and the last time we hung out we made 0 physical contact. I didn’t want to say anything about this, as she was going through a move and leaving all she knew. So I waited. I mentioned this later and she was just like “I was struggling, I was moving and worried..” etc. but basically, that’s still how it is. I didn’t want to believe it would be good after she moved because I had heard that all LDRs become distant and such... but it’s true now. It’s 7 months later and i have been struggling everyday to be okay with it. We talk like every other day, and rarely call. Both calls and texts are STALE. I don’t know what to do to rekindle intimacy. I love this girl and it’s tearing me apart. I don’t want to leave her, because it could always be better EVENTUALLY. But at the same time, my hope for it getting better is fading. We were supposed to visit back in December (didn’t, she canceled due to family things) and now I’m stuck waiting until Summer. She’s always been one of those girls that is lowkey conservative in sexual manners, when she was here we wouldn’t do much sexually... we did some stuff with clothes on but definitely never went all the way, and I feel like asking for literally anything sexual from her would turn her away so quickly. But the sexual tension builds (at least for me). Any ideas? What would you do? Should I do something to save the intimacy, or just... not..?

March 24, 2019, 10:59:14 AM
Reply #1
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JAD3


I think you guys should have another conversation. Ask her why she wants to stay in a relationship if this is how it’s going to be. This could carry on for years. Don’t deprive yourself of a loving relationship. Think about why you love her. If you guys aren’t even having stimulating conversation, things are drying up. It’s hard enough seeing the person, but being in an LDR is ridiculously hard. I’ve been in one for ten years. I love him very much. But I also gave up a lot for something that STILL isn’t even guaranteed. Consider things a little more. Think about what you want in life, and maybe consider moving on. Just because you love her doesn’t mean she’s the only one for you. Don’t short yourself. Sometimes when people are going through family issues and cannot dedicate themselves to a relationship, but refuse to move on it’s because they’re looking for emotional support. Maybe she just needs a friend right now and not a relationship. I would just take this all into consideration.

March 24, 2019, 12:54:06 PM
Reply #2
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Guigarguy


Hi,
Honestly, you need to discuss your desires and what you want in a healthy relationship. This is not healthy. To be together for 5 months and still be in your current position, doesn't make sense. Tell her that you need more, you deserve to be happy. Don't be afraid to move on, either.
Rich

 

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