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Author Topic: I need advice. I'm in a very weird situation

March 03, 2019, 09:06:45 PM
Read 2229 times


First, thanks for reading this.

So, I am in my first year of college and have had my eye on this girl for a long time. We are not really friends, I think acquaintances would be a better term for it. Recently, I have not been able to stop thinking about her. Now, she is in my major, so we have had a lot of classes together, but I have not been able to sit next to her yet. However, the amazing part is, we have been assigned to work on so many projects together. I literally, by coincidence, have been assigned to work with her on at least five projects including on right now that lasts the entire semester. So, we've been around each other a lot, so we kinda know how each other operates and where pretty friendly with each other. Now, I am on the shyer side, and have never dated before. I am afraid that I haven't been as well presented as I could have been. My problem is, I really want to approach her, but I am afraid that if things don't go well, its gonna get super awkward as we continue to work on projects. I don't want my academics to suffer because of it. I guess I'm looking for advice about the best way to approach this situation, because I feel like I have been "lead" to her after we keep ending up around each other. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks

March 08, 2019, 06:48:21 PM
Reply #1


You were really lucky by having so many projects to work with her. Try while you are working with her talk about college, why she is studying what she is studying, comment on the subjects you have in common... after that, conversation might flow, and when ur about to leave, ask her to go eat something the next day like a snack. If things go well, u can keep asking to go out the day after and so on... normally, girls when they are liking to know someone, they are very receptive although shy.
Good luck  ;)

March 12, 2019, 10:09:50 AM
Reply #2


Try to always look your best, presentable and clean, this always boosts up your confidence a tad. The academics part might just be an excuse to avoid asking her out if you ask me. Talk to her on the occasions that occur about the projects and other topics that you might have in common and let it flow. Make it lighthearted and fun. Ask her questions. She should do a little more talking than you. It would be best not to assume anything as well. That's so you won't get caught up that bad in expectations. See if you can make her laugh and look for subtle signs she likes you (any kind of touch, even if she punches you in the arm or something, her body's position to you, smiles, eye contact. They don't have to be super obvious and prolonged). With these things checked you should be a little more confident, just enough to ask her out. Preferably take her somewhere where you can talk and interact easily like mini golf , pool, darts, fun parks , etc., not somewhere where it's super crowded and loud. The movie theater would also not be the best idea but better than nothing.
Keep in mind that it can get weird, awkward or plain bad but it shouldn't matter, especially if she is really into you, she will look past that, you'll see ;) .

March 14, 2019, 12:06:55 PM
Reply #3


definitely always look your best....and rather than being direct and asking her out, just trying flirting a little at first.... if she's interested, you'll see by her reaction.... just little things like you like her top or something like this.... you'll tell from her reaction whether she wants you to have that kind of relationship with her....

March 24, 2019, 11:23:30 PM
Reply #4

Troubled Soul

You are already in winning battle, with so many projects together, you have chances for 2 things:
1) to get to know her deeper, her personality, working style, philosophy in life etc.
2) to let her know you better.

So, no need to rush, just go for lunch once a while, and do some research work together.  Go catch a move together or something together.  If she is aware of your personality and willing to have meals and/or going for movies togehter, Bingo!!!!! 

if not, no love lost, no damage, no losing of reputation too. 

All the best.

March 25, 2019, 09:30:23 PM
Reply #5


If you know your going to see her always try and look fresh and put together. If you get the vibe she is into you maybe ask her to grab coffee or get some food after you meet for the project

April 16, 2019, 08:47:53 PM
Reply #6


Spend the time in the projects to get to know her more, and if after all of that you still are attracted to her, and you see signs that she is into you, go for it. It would be awkward if you straight asked her out out of the blue, so try flirting and courting her a little bit and see the reaction. If it’s good, keep going, if not, stop it before it becomes awkward to work in groups with her.

July 11, 2019, 01:46:43 AM
Reply #7


its very good you take these together, but im sure ull get through it

July 15, 2019, 01:54:24 AM
Reply #8

Brenda W

Hi there,

I feel you may consider simply treating her as a perfectly Normal friend for now (Just like how you treat everyone else). No special attentions given, no additional glance other then necessary eye contacts. Theres' no need to be in a rush to show off how crazy you are for her.

She may start wondering "Am I not good enough for him Why isn't he taking any actions or dropping any hints to me?"

And you might be winning her over in time to come.
Cheers :-)


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