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Author Topic: I have a huge crush on this girl at work, Advice is needed x)

March 05, 2020, 01:18:07 AM
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Theplug


this is at a workplace, I know it shouldn't be, Im breaking major rules. not an important job, and this girl gives me a feeling I never felt before so willing to push.

So I started at this work place and saw this girl with a bang cut, thought she was a Asian nationality, then come back the next day to work, she has a hair cut, make-up on and got rid of the bangs and turns out pretty cute girl cool. working with cute people isn't anything special.

but then everytime I walked by her, she would flick her hair and fix herself, but then I started to copy her like instectively, and a lot of the time I would find my body facing towards her and when I noticed I felt like a weirdo lol.
Then I finally walked up to this shy girl and talked to her. I asked her a question about work and she answered with something about the topic but totally didn't answer my question. I was kinda like shes little weird but holy shes super cute so ima ignore shes weird. out of work im super weird but professional and normal at the job. Also another thing is we both cannot have a conversation without smiling, like we have to laugh at each other.

another thing is she likes to tease me and tries to one up me at my job. LOOOOL but two can play that game.

so I try to talk to her again this time I feel like almost like a fuzzy feeling not really butterflies, im not sure if its anxiety or what, but then I also had troubles talking to her. Where I don't make sense just like her lmao. But I can talk to anyone else no problem she's literally probably the only 2-3 people I had issues talking to besides the police when speeding lmao.

another thing is were the same in many ways and different in many ways. I'm more like a street ghetto because I lived in a wealthy area and went to a lower income school since it was closer and also a party guy where im just like ay whats good man how you doin dog. and shes more like a church girl that looks like goody goody and goes to school etc. I always glide my hands on different textures and always am working 24/7 cus i got horrible ADHD. She came up to me and said your just like me when i dont take medication in the morning.

She also stands near me when talking to listen to what i have to say, but like wont hop in the convo or act like shes listening but i know i got a loud voice and i know shes very attentive to where i am and what i say etc.

So I decided to go for the kill and read the reaction.... I told her that her hair looked really pretty when she curled it, she just said thanks and since she didn't extend the convo, I just ended it. Idk how to continue a convo with a goody goody when I like to party, chill and do boy things like no girl will think that's attrative at all, yeah I have hobbies and personalities but idk what a shy girl wants to hear. She hasn't opened up to me so im here like whats safe to talk about whats not. I always go for easy girls that are head over heels and will date me no matter what the F up is, but idk about her lol

so im kinda stuck...

I feel like she likes me because she just constantly smiles when I start talking to her, she stumbles when I talk to her so do I rofl and I never have that issue, I get a weird vibe when talking to her idk never felt it before don't know what it means, could be anxiety cus shes really pretty and some how potentially likes me. Wont open up/give me to much feedback besides natural attraction signs, makes it harder for me to like compliment and try to get with her plus its the work place and shes already shy and awkward enough, rejection is last thing to add to that. But also potentially wouldn't care because, I would just go back to not noticing her. After I complimented her and just got a thank you, I ignored her because I was like maybe she just thinks im cool and likes to talk to someone since shes shy lol, its whatever I can easily find girls on Instagram, movies etc w/o making work awkward. Week later she conforonts me, and ask why im avoiding her, I said idk uhhh your just like tiny bit awkward and she said im more awkward LOL. yet I constantly talk to all the workers expect her, not in a rude way but she really does give me anxiety and theres nothing really to talk about unless I felt we were by ourselves then maybe id talk but idk, when me and her talk other workers kinda notice us and think were cute together and they say like you guys have a energy, so I don't want workers thinking im crushing hard.

but since its the workplace this is 10x harder, since we both cant talk its extra hard, we both sound flirty asf around each other like play fighting talk and probably other workers notice ops. She wont open up or really give me signs besides natural she wont openly say youre looking good today, you smell really good, I like what you're wearing. like I ball out sometimes so I know she notices me looking fancy.


what are some options to go forward on this?


-thank you everyone for helping and reading this, I never really actually super super liked a girl and have no clue what im doing, like ive dated 7-10+ girls and this one is the hardest-

March 07, 2020, 08:19:42 AM
Reply #1
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LilyPouille


Hi Theplug!
First, of all it's great to try to find solutions and seek for advices to deal with your crush. I would say that, you shouldn't try avoiding her, because you still work with her, it's for the sake of your job and your mental health. It's harder to avoid someone that you actually have a crush on. Maybe just saying hi and have the normal conversation. If you avoid her, it would be harder for you to build something with her.

I think the fact she didn't reply to your signs (you got beautiful hair and everything), is maybe because she just doesn't know what to say afterwards, or she didn't understand clearly that you actually think she's beautiful, or she's too shy to respond to a compliment. Maybe she thinks that too about yourself or not. Everything is possible. And the fact she's completly different from you, is not a problem, every story is special. Maybe if you begin to know her and her interests, you will discover she's not that different from you. As I say, we never know.

It's about what you want to do, with what you feel. Because you can just avoid her, and just do your job. Or you can try spending time with her, begin to know her. Sometimes we have a huge crush on someone but then you know the person and you realise you put them on a pedestal.
If I can give you an advice : life is too short, to say '' I used to have a big crush on a girl, but I didn't try and swallow my feelings for the sake of every reasons (or excuses?) that you would find to defend yourself''. Go talk to the girl, she might appreciate it too, we never know. You might miss a great relatioship or not.

Keep us posted.
Wish you the best.  ;D ;)
Live. Just live.

March 07, 2020, 02:17:30 PM
Reply #2
Offline

Theplug


Hi Theplug!
First, of all it's great to try to find solutions and seek for advices to deal with your crush. I would say that, you shouldn't try avoiding her, because you still work with her, it's for the sake of your job and your mental health. It's harder to avoid someone that you actually have a crush on. Maybe just saying hi and have the normal conversation. If you avoid her, it would be harder for you to build something with her.

I think the fact she didn't reply to your signs (you got beautiful hair and everything), is maybe because she just doesn't know what to say afterwards, or she didn't understand clearly that you actually think she's beautiful, or she's too shy to respond to a compliment. Maybe she thinks that too about yourself or not. Everything is possible. And the fact she's completly different from you, is not a problem, every story is special. Maybe if you begin to know her and her interests, you will discover she's not that different from you. As I say, we never know.

It's about what you want to do, with what you feel. Because you can just avoid her, and just do your job. Or you can try spending time with her, begin to know her. Sometimes we have a huge crush on someone but then you know the person and you realise you put them on a pedestal.
If I can give you an advice : life is too short, to say '' I used to have a big crush on a girl, but I didn't try and swallow my feelings for the sake of every reasons (or excuses?) that you would find to defend yourself''. Go talk to the girl, she might appreciate it too, we never know. You might miss a great relatioship or not.

Keep us posted.
Wish you the best.  ;D ;)

Thank you for making me wanna "balls up".

Yes shes super shy, she talks to barley anyone at work. when we start talking I can feel her anxiety mix with my soul and then also becomes hard for me to talk. I use to ace presentations, I talk to everyone else at work, everyone likes me.

but me and her its just super awkaward of us similing at each other not knowing what to say until one of us say something dumb lol.

I don't really know how to extend the convo without knowing her. Shes like a church girl when im a party boy, and I know telling her stories about a "great time" isn't really adultlike/attrative

I could tell her about my hobbies, goals and that kind of thing but yeah im not really sure where to start with everything.

I was purposely avoiding her because how shy she is, I figured she just rather be left alone.

March 08, 2020, 04:51:39 AM
Reply #3
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Tony


Dude ask her shit about herself. What she does what she likes and build a question off that every single time.

It’s not hard, listen and she will respond. Just need to get her in a non confrontational environment like coffee or whatever

March 08, 2020, 06:15:23 AM
Reply #4
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LilyPouille


I think Tony is right! Ask her a question about her and what she likes. If you show her that you're interested about her whole person and getting to know her, everything will be okayy! I have a good feeling about this !
Live. Just live.

March 08, 2020, 06:50:31 PM
Reply #5
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Cameron


That fuzzy feeling and weird vibe you are experiencing is love.  You may never have another opportunity like this again in your life time so it would be wise to explore. Rejection should not be an issue.  Play fighting and competitiveness sounds like she really likes you and wants your attention. If she is church like, she may have been raised that the guy does the chase. You are the man right! I know this is old school but girls like this do exist these days and are great life long partners and marriage material (if that is what you want)  Your soul is telling you she is the one and those 7 to 10 you dated are not. Easy girls come and go, use you for your money and move on.

Go for it, break the rules and be happy!

Good luck,

March 09, 2020, 03:38:20 PM
Reply #6
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Tony


I would also say look for signs like eye contact as she walks past and stuff like that. That will tell you she is interested. But don’t stare boy and make it awkward

March 11, 2020, 12:59:57 AM
Reply #7
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Theplug


I would also say look for signs like eye contact as she walks past and stuff like that. That will tell you she is interested. But don’t stare boy and make it awkward

lmao she looks at me everytime I walk by, then flicks her hair like 8/10 times she turns around

March 11, 2020, 01:34:20 AM
Reply #8
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Theplug


That fuzzy feeling and weird vibe you are experiencing is love.  You may never have another opportunity like this again in your life time so it would be wise to explore. Rejection should not be an issue.  Play fighting and competitiveness sounds like she really likes you and wants your attention. If she is church like, she may have been raised that the guy does the chase. You are the man right! I know this is old school but girls like this do exist these days and are great life long partners and marriage material (if that is what you want)  Your soul is telling you she is the one and those 7 to 10 you dated are not. Easy girls come and go, use you for your money and move on.

Go for it, break the rules and be happy!

Good luck,

dang, maybe, I love this reply because like all my relationships were ez highschool girls, so that 7/10 don't care for them statement is exactly what I was chasing, haha I laughed at that statement.

now the real deal is up, work is making it a bit harder as it being kinda a barrier. her being shy and closed also a big fat L. if she could just chill and vibe talk with me everything would be okay.
and the attention part. she asked why I was ignoring her. (because I complimented her and she just basically said thanks and it made it like a dead conversation as I don't know her and didn't wanna push after such a simple response)

but since it sounds like you have experience, I have one question. When I do talk to her, ill ask her things, or just talk and she like responds on topic but doesn't really make sense and she talks way to quiet. Does responding oddly and quiet means shes neverous or anything like that. Or just the way that person is.

lastly, I suppose what is the easiest way to start conversations when I just feel like they don't wanna talk or im bothering them. (Im super talkative I just leave her alone just cus shes shy asf.)


March 11, 2020, 03:49:10 AM
Reply #9
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Tony


If she is making and holding that much eye contact she’s interested. I’d say she is just a little shy and awkward and wants to be chased.

I’d say be a bit flirty, playful if you can. A Little compliment will let her know you are interested. But don’t do it too much, or it can get creepy.

Heaps of ways you can start conversations, like saying that’s a cute jacket (or what ever) where did you get it from. Then I’d ask a few more questions, like what she did on the weekend.

Show you are listening, and when she mentions something like what you think is similar to something you know and would be a good date, say oh that sounds awesome, I know a Place like that / new movie/ favourite bar or whatever - would love to go sometime, what are you doing next weekend?

Rest is up to you bud.


March 11, 2020, 03:50:20 AM
Reply #10
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Tony


Btw I’d say there is nothing wrong woth workplace romances - I kinda have one at the moment and it’s been fantastic, complicated, but a whole lot of fun at the same time. Only complication is she is engaged......  :'(

March 11, 2020, 06:45:53 AM
Reply #11
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LilyPouille


I think Tony is really right about everything he said!!!!!!!!
Tony, you should do post about your story, maybe we can help! She's engaged...  :'( :'( :'( :'(
What do you wanna do about this situation?
Well, if I got to say something, it's because there's a goal that you can't mark point!
Keep us posted !

I got a crush too, but too afraid to actually talk to him ( and get to know him, because I know that I don't want to be his friend but more than that)  :-X
Live. Just live.

March 11, 2020, 07:15:08 AM
Reply #12
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Tony


Thanks Lily

Opposite goes for guys too you know. We all want someone who we can talk to and who we will be attracted to. Someone who engages with us and makes us feel special. It’s all part of the game but it’s when it settles down after that initial attraction you find out what someone is like. Everyone is a little guarded when they meet.

Lily I’ll post something just up for you. My story is a little bit left of centre. Keep an eye out.

March 11, 2020, 05:30:20 PM
Reply #13
Offline

Cameron


That fuzzy feeling and weird vibe you are experiencing is love.  You may never have another opportunity like this again in your life time so it would be wise to explore. Rejection should not be an issue.  Play fighting and competitiveness sounds like she really likes you and wants your attention. If she is church like, she may have been raised that the guy does the chase. You are the man right! I know this is old school but girls like this do exist these days and are great life long partners and marriage material (if that is what you want)  Your soul is telling you she is the one and those 7 to 10 you dated are not. Easy girls come and go, use you for your money and move on.

Go for it, break the rules and be happy!

Good luck,

dang, maybe, I love this reply because like all my relationships were ez highschool girls, so that 7/10 don't care for them statement is exactly what I was chasing, haha I laughed at that statement.

now the real deal is up, work is making it a bit harder as it being kinda a barrier. her being shy and closed also a big fat L. if she could just chill and vibe talk with me everything would be okay.
and the attention part. she asked why I was ignoring her. (because I complimented her and she just basically said thanks and it made it like a dead conversation as I don't know her and didn't wanna push after such a simple response)

but since it sounds like you have experience, I have one question. When I do talk to her, ill ask her things, or just talk and she like responds on topic but doesn't really make sense and she talks way to quiet. Does responding oddly and quiet means shes neverous or anything like that. Or just the way that person is.

lastly, I suppose what is the easiest way to start conversations when I just feel like they don't wanna talk or im bothering them. (Im super talkative I just leave her alone just cus shes shy asf.)


You said that you are super talkative and she is probably a super good listener.  Opposites attract. You cannot have two people talking at the same time, get my drift....someone has to listen. Some people don't spill the beans about themselves immediately and are are quite private until they feel a sense of trust in the person before opening up.  I know plenty of people like this. You said that she is a big fat L, that is pretty harsh, no one is a loser.  Every one is good at something, just because it doesn't line up with your thinking, doesn't mean she is a loser and a big one at that.  It's probably best you look elsewhere. Here's the deal and I'm going to teach you something...... you'll never know she might be the richest woman in the world some day!   ;)  All the best.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2020, 05:36:08 PM by Cameron »

March 11, 2020, 11:45:18 PM
Reply #14
Offline

Cameron


"but since it sounds like you have experience, I have one question. When I do talk to her, ill ask her things, or just talk and she like responds on topic but doesn't really make sense and she talks way to quiet. Does responding oddly and quiet means shes neverous or anything like that. Or just the way that person is.

lastly, I suppose what is the easiest way to start conversations when I just feel like they don't wanna talk or im bothering them. (Im super talkative I just leave her alone just cus shes shy asf.)"


There is a few things going on here:

1:  She is picking up on your high energy, you know that fuzzy feeling and weird vibe and with you ignoring her, she thinks you don't like her.
2.   You don't need to talk, talk, talk.....you just need to be, you need to chill.  Have you ever noticed how little James Bond speaks. Just behave like James Bond. Great videos on youtube for this. Practice this. When you talk to much you miss out on other details (body language etc) Don't have expectations and drive the situation too much, let it fall into place naturally.
3.   Usually these listeners or observers are pretty smart people and can see BS from a mile away.  Don't underestimate them..... they have already worked out who they will spend time with and who not to.  They tend to be genuine, focused and live life with a yes and no and not maybe.  They tend not to be time wasters.
4.   If you really like her, take her out to the movies preferably a romantic comedy not an action one. This way you don't have to worry about conversion to much and have a laugh together, this should break the ice and then go for a coffee afterwards and get to know each other.  Remember be a gentleman.....again go onto youtube.
5. She could be experiencing some nervousness, her heart is probably fluttering over you and she will settle.

It's not like she is not talking to you, she's teasing you isn't she (she wants your attention) and she has asked why you are ignoring her?  The problem may not be her. There are some great youtube videos on how a man should behave in a gentlemanly way.

I don't blame men for being confused these days because of the changes over the years.

Good luck....keep in touch!
« Last Edit: March 11, 2020, 11:50:00 PM by Cameron »

March 13, 2020, 10:23:57 PM
Reply #15
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profett4



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May 31, 2020, 06:29:25 PM
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July 01, 2020, 06:03:37 AM
Reply #18
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July 01, 2020, 02:06:56 PM
Reply #19
Offline

The Educator


Dear Mr Theplug! This is the Educator.

First off, you are not breaking any employment rules unless the woman in question or a co-worker feels uncomfortable and files a harassment report. Sexual Harassment in the work-place is not cool! Personally I think you are okay.

Secondly, congratulations on pursuing this girl as it seems like she is enjoying the process (seeing that she made herself look attractive). Now your job is to make her “feel” attractive. Charisma is the ability to make others feel special in your company. Be charismatic. Be fun!

Thirdly it seems that you and this young lady have “rapport” as it is obvious you bounce off each other. As in you two “mirror-ing each others body language. That is a very good thing! ;-)

Now as a side note, you need to understand indicators of interest and I advise watching this (smiling is a good thing):

http://adfoc.us/52228775213424

Approaching a woman and maintaining a conversation is a difficult thing but well done! That´s what a man does! The issues you are facing is called approach anxiety and it happens to most men. This is what cause approach anxiety:

http://adfoc.us/52228775213382

I notice that you seemed confused and self deprecating. Remember, you are all that you have got so stop calling yourself dumb or stupid. When you are in love with your life, the woman naturally falls in love with your positivity! You might want to try EFT techniques to boost your inner game. Try this, it has worked miracles for me!: Brad Yates – Love Magnet (My favourite). Tap along and have fun with it! This will change your life.

http://adfoc.us/52228775213442

And last but not least, you need to know how attraction works!

http://adfoc.us/5222871

We are all betting on you! Please share the love and positivity.

I hope this helps,
Kind regards,

The Educator.
PS: I agree with Lily Pouille, Cameron and Tony. You got this!!!

July 17, 2020, 03:50:07 AM
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July 17, 2020, 05:11:58 AM
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July 26, 2020, 09:02:25 AM
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July 27, 2020, 12:30:17 PM
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July 27, 2020, 04:26:28 PM
Reply #24
Offline

Marco1000


Take a chance dude, you wont regret it. Be brave brother

 

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