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Author Topic: I had Crazy GF, NOW I need serious Help...Long Thread!

January 18, 2020, 09:13:10 AM
Read 716 times


Hello to all. Thank you for having time to read this. I will try to make it short,
but it will be longer story, so only you who have time and will to read it will help me i guess :)
So let's start.

I met a girl 1 year ago, and it was love or let's say chemistry on first sight...i knew her from before but never in person...She was really banging and i really liked her and she liked me She called me over and i went there, we were a bit drunk and we made out...it was amazing . First time i did this on first night to be honest. Then tomorrow i found that she has a boyfriend  ouch...so this was red flag to me. And i said ok i didn't know blah blah we will not see again.. She said how she likes me and not him and how she wants him to be out of her life, but he is not leaving so she is glad she met me...then i  told her no, sorry blah blah and we only chatted for a while and she decided to leave this guy for me..i said if that is her decision i would give her chance and see where it goes...she felt madly in love with me and i to her in around 20-30days..However this guy kept texting her and so on, but she said no i don't want him he is this that.So we started dating for 2-3 months then i invited her to my place, i live with my mother only and i don't have stable job i work online too so i was at home most of my time. She was amazing,she came every day or so, made lunch here, we watched movies like all couples etc.... it was great...

So later maybe 3 months passed and she started feeling insecure about me and she started asking me if i like another girl, if someone is coming to my house etc and this is where it all starts!
So this is where it gets complicated...I didn't know what was going on until i found out that she was jealous of my own MOTHER!
I was shocked!! and still am...so as the time passed by i heard this from her, and she is really  unstable as a girl, in that period she was drinking, kicking stuff, yelling at me...and she showed her face then! I was madly in love with her even though i knew i can't tolerate this behaviour..

So we had fights almost daily, she was jelaous of my own mother because when i was little i was  sick and she was constantly around me, so she had this protective attitude maybe towards me and  this girl is over protective over me and also this is important, this girl was raped in the past, from divorced parrents, had physical violence from her family over her and she has lots of trauma from her life...so that is how she even thought of this jealous!!
So, i tried to reason her i tried to be with her i tried to explain but with no success! :/
So at that time i didn;t know what to do and she always when we had fight brought her ex to the picture!! So this was when it all started... she called him, contacted him, sms and so on...And later i heard that she cheated with him on me!! This guy is obssesed with her so he only wants sex with her i am sure of it, but she is insecure and she thinks he is in love with her an so on..

So i became her rebound relationship but she never admitted that.... We didn't see each other a bit, then she apologized for that, and said how she loves me, how she understand she wants me only only blah blah and then somehow  i felt sorry for her(bad mistake) and we went back together...i went abroad to work for 1 month and she came there..we said let's start new life etc... So she came and it was miserable!!
She yelled at me again, she felt jelaous of me writing to my mother, she blamed her for all stuff, she thinks i am involved in Incest thing, that even incest is real OMG!!!! I can't believe i am writing this...and i had to bring her back home, she treatens that she will kill me, herself my mother and so on.. I even wanted to go to police...
So she came back to our city, and she again started seeing ex...and then 2 months i came back to my city as well and she again said how she loves me how she can't live without me how she knows for all errors, and so on and how she understand that she only wanted to get away from us because it was mad love etc..
I always felt sorry for her because i know she has unstable problems. But as for love, my love for her of course is not there bcause of cheating and thinking of Incest. I fight my mom over this, and my brother, he knows even that too and he said that he doesn't want to see her anymore and so on.

So to cut this story, she started feeling jealous about this, started cheating, started yelling fighting etc... and because she had rough history, violance in her family and so on maybe she has some disorder pibolar, or something other i don't know... We saw few times, we even had sex i  am being honest and it is good, but apart from that she wants to live with me, she wants to be different and so on...BUT i don't trust her at all, and she knows that, and i don't want to forgive her about cheating and she knows that too, and somehow she tells me yes of course we will go our seperate ways, but somehow she can't let me go or me letting go of her(maybe i am feeling pitty or something)...

OHHH it is long story... there is more but more or less this is it...
So my question to you is how to stop this and without any pain because we live 1 street away we can see each other etc, how to get over this how to feel better etc. Because when i told her we can only be friends or friends with benefits because at the moment i don't want any gf or anything i am really in some state of mind where i need work and stability and not love or commitment and she only wants serious she wants husband etc... and when she is mad she threatens me about her EX again, however he has girlfriend now but nothing serious... So somehow i know all that and i can't let it go in my mind:/
Seems very weird but that is ...very serious thread

Any psychological help is appreciated :)

January 18, 2020, 06:32:40 PM
Reply #1


My advice: wash your hands of her.

I understand she has emotional and clearly mental health issues, and I sympathise with that. But from what you describe she is a domestic abuser. She is using threats, accusations and physical violence to coerce and control you. She is trying to rip you apart from your own mother! Nobody who loves and has your best interests at heart does that.

You said you don’t love her yet continue to sleep with her. What happens if she ends up pregnant with your child? You won’t be able to walk away so easy then. And she’ll have you exactly where she wants you.

Dude, think selfishly for a moment. Is this what you pictured your relationship to be like? Is this the woman you want to marry? Raise a family with? Put her looks aside for a moment. A pretty face is nice to look at but an ugly personality is horrible to live with.

The decision is of course, yours.

January 31, 2020, 02:00:21 AM
Reply #2


I can sympathize but I agree.  This girl is toxic and I agree with Carter.  RUN from her as fast as you can.

February 02, 2020, 12:05:53 PM
Reply #3


I wouldn't feel too sorry for her. There are plenty of people who have been victims of domestic and sexual abuse who don't develop selfish and solipsistic personalities. It's not good what happened to her but it's not an excuse either. I've always known that If a woman is too eager to leave her boyfriend for you then you're about to be the next victim in the next few months. All women put their emotions first but some women are so completely consumed by their emotions and compulsions that there is no way you can ever trust them or rely upon them. If the truth hurts them then they simply don't accept the truth about themselves. They will compartmentalize their bad behavior. It's sad when you meet a woman like this. Especially if she does have some nice qualities but you just got to understand you will never be able to help them. There is nothing you can do. They are what they are.

February 07, 2020, 09:36:44 AM
Reply #4


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