Lets Chat Love
Register An AccountLogin

Author Topic: I desperately need help

March 05, 2020, 02:26:09 PM
Read 587 times
Offline

Gumby87


Found out 3 months ago my girlfriend doesnt know if shes in love with me anymore.

We have been together for 13 years now. We have only ever been with each other. No real issues ovrr the years, both want the same things such as no marriage, no kids.  We hardly fight.

So i got the news before xmas and due to the timing we pushed it until after xmas as we are both from split families for its chaos every year.

She blames herself for the feelings and doesnt know why it came on but when i really think about it we have been living more like roomates then an actual couple for about a year.   No more intimacy. We never stopped doing sexual stuff or kissing/saying i love you. Just stopped with the small romantic gestures, surprises stuff like that.

Long story short, we got comfortable and stopped putting work in and just fell into routine.

The last 2 months ive been working on these issues and trying to do more.  But she still doesnt know how she feels. She loves me but isnt in love with me.

I dont know what to do, i hurt. Its bringing uo other issues we never had. For example i have never been jealous ever in our relationship.  Now.... I am.  I feel like if she doesnt love me yhen whats stopping her from cheating (logicly i know she wouldnt but apart of me no longer trusts)

I dont know if i should keep fighting or walk away or wtf to do. I dont want to loose her and i want to fix this.

Sorry for the post formatting or grammar. Im on my phone rushing this out at work.

March 06, 2020, 06:46:29 AM
Reply #1
Offline

crazyduud


I think you should have a honest conversation about if she had been seeing someone else.
If not, than try to go for a week or 1 and i beth she will see she will miss you around ..
I am not sure if this is good advice as i am in a ''crisis'' myself but i think it is crucial to determine if she had been seeing someone else who changed her idea, feelings about being together.

March 06, 2020, 09:32:23 AM
Reply #2
Offline

Gumby87



I think you should have a honest conversation about if she had been seeing someone else.
If not, than try to go for a week or 1 and i beth she will see she will miss you around ..
I am not sure if this is good advice as i am in a ''crisis'' myself but i think it is crucial to determine if she had been seeing someone else who changed her idea, feelings about being together.
We have had that talk, i asked her if she has feelings for anyone else. The answer was no.  She doesnt know why this came on lr how.  And i know that this does happen. I'm sure it was caused by us not putting in the work. Just going about our routines for a long time.

I just dont know what to do to fix this or how long do i wait. How do I trust this wont happen again.

March 06, 2020, 12:37:49 PM
Reply #3
Offline

Mamalonglegz


The problem sounds like the relationship has become predictable and she probably sees no more growth happening for you both in the near future.....her plans may have changed aswell....maybe she wants marriage or is thinking about having a kid one day. If that's not the case I'd say trh to spice things up...not just in the bedroom just maybe have more date nights....spontaneous paragraphs while shes at work...dont over work your self tho because it will take two...maybe get a hobby together or work toward a new goal like saving toward a rental property to flip etc. If that doesnt work and you still want to take the chance thing about having a conversation where as you give her the option to take time for herself away from you and just think things through....figure out what it is she wants. And if you do go through with that dont rush her or beg her....that's where I went wrong....it'll only push her away....if you give her this option you have to be prepared to wait and keep in mind that she may decide she wants to be single in the end.....figure out how long you would be willing to wait until giving up on the situation

March 14, 2020, 08:14:38 PM
Reply #4
Offline

breakupandrea


It's great to get advice from other people but you can go to https://google.com and find lots of useful info too.

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
11 Replies
1397 Views
Last post September 05, 2020, 02:55:20 AM
by sankhyanjyotishi
3 Replies
760 Views
Last post May 31, 2020, 06:28:44 PM
by kocainviser