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Author Topic: I am a virgin who found my forever girl in current distance relationship

December 05, 2019, 02:13:56 AM
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JasonH


Earlier in my life I was too busy working and trying to build up financially to work on relationships.  Then the last 15 or so years I have been recovering from a couple of bad car crashes so my health is what I have been working on.  That brings me to today where I am finally about in good shape and will get better but a virgin.  Circumstances seem to have caused things to be delayed.  About a month or so ago I finally decided to go all out and put myself out there on dating sites.  That along was a nice step towards improving confidence and striving for relationships.

I figured that I would meet local girls but came across a site where a few wonderful ladies for some reason were truly interested in me for a long-term or forever relationship.  I understand that it is a dating site so took it as that at first but things progressed nicely with a few until I noticed that one was who I seemed to desire more.  I am purposely going slowly chatting because we are at a distance.  Pictures, and messaging is all right now.  I do want to keep it with this for a little before maybe actual talking on the phone next.  I expect it will be several months, probably 6 or more before we get to the point of meeting and I have discussed this with her as well to not worry that we are good with each other and not to push things.  Being that this is a long distance relationship I do realize that things could end, change quickly, or many things could happen because it is long distance.  She could find someone local, I understand things could happen.

My question deals with my virginity.  I have been getting interest from local girls for short term, no strings, causal meetings.  I am considering having some of these meet ups not only because I am a virgin but to also be better equipped if I am to eventually get together with the long term girl whom I am chatting with but not at a true distance relationship yet.

The thought that I may be thinking selfishly to want to be with a few others first before being with a long term person is something that I am wondering about but not having had a sexual relationship I am seeking advice on this.  having more sexual experience before someone else is what I am considering so I am better when I get together with my long distance person.  Is this rational thinking on my part or should I consider something else.  With zero sexual experience I appreciate advice.
Jason

December 19, 2019, 04:38:05 PM
Reply #1
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Zugaard


First you need to ask yourself the question: What are you looking for? Just an opportunity to try "doing it", because you are curious, and you want to find out? Or are you looking for something serious and emotional? If you're really serious about making that long distance relationship turn into something meaningful, then forget about the sex part. Seriously, it's not important. I am 25, and I've been a virgin until a few weeks ago, when my girlfriend talked me into doing it with her. ...And we did it... It was nothing special. Useless... To be honest. Some people who haven't done it before think it's everything, but they should realize it's not what love is about. I am at least glad that me and my girlfriend can agree that it's not a part of love. It's just pleasure, and you don't need to be good at it, or even do it at all, to embrace a relationship. So I'd say, go ahead and do what you feel like doing, if you're curious. Just don't ever make the mistake of seeing it as something important you need to be good at. Don't ever mistake it for being a part of love. It's just lust anyway... And by the way, it's not even natural to only fantasize about one person. There is no such thing as "loyalty" when it comes to such things... You can choose only to do that thing with one person, but your mind will always fantasize about a lot of different people.
There's really no way you can say, that sex is a part of love. It's just enjoyment anyways... It's something that you should actually avoid getting used to and addicted to, as it could ruin your relationship, and the way you see your partner.

February 02, 2020, 08:24:05 AM
Reply #2
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SomeGuy


This relationship probably wont play out how you want it to. Have fun with it but don't expect too much. Terms like "Forever girl" are used by people that haven't been disillusioned yet. When you have some experience with a few girlfriends you will learn just how redundant words like that really are. Relationships are either difficult or impossible and that's the reality of it. As for your lack of sexual experience do not worry at all. Women do not care about sex in the way that men care about sex. It's not what they are there for and it's not a deal breaker. Men project male sexuality onto women all the time and it's a big mistake. Pornography is the main thing to blame for that.

 

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