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Author Topic: I "rejected" her and I'm confused now

July 07, 2019, 01:08:29 PM
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I recently started going out with a girl. She told me she likes me a lot. She has a fantastic personality and also good looking. We've been classmates for 3 years (16 years old). Our first date went well. The second one.. I felt like I'm not ready for this stuff yet. After the second date I messaged her: "You are a really beautiful and an awesome person, but I'm afraid I'm not ready yet". Her response was respective, she understood and told me, that maybe she said everything out too fast. The problem is, I don't know if I like her as much as she likes me. Now is the "confusing" part. I had a dream after the day I "rejected" her about her going out with someone else and I felt jealous. What should I do?.. Btw we will be classmates for the next 3 years. I would like to go out again, but how do I approach her now after all of this..

Thanks in advance!
« Last Edit: July 07, 2019, 01:34:08 PM by crazyshot99 »

October 06, 2019, 12:17:30 AM
Reply #1


I completely agree on the flip-flop of attraction and yet I am trying to figure it out too since I am going through that right now.

Time is definitely your friend and rushing can deteriorate things quickly because you can be skipping milestones of getting to know someone.
For example, a boy was into me and I thought I did but not sure so as a safeguard for not regretting my decision  I said yes, I like you, but I'm not ready for a full-fledged relationship yet so we hang out casually (even though there is a ting of attraction.) This allows to get to know the person better and not have the expectation of dating hanging over you. You have the choice to say let's stay friends or I want something more a lot easier than being stuck in a frigid box of dating or not.

I actually thought of rejecting the guy but waited things out and I am so happy because the time of a few months really changed things. I sometimes wasn't into him just because of my mood or he was acting off from his problems. Remember, we all have mood dips so time is important to weigh if it was a short-lived thing.

You also have to think, if you're actually into the girl because you really do or mostly because she likes you.

And the flip flop of thinking you're into someone and then you're not is fine, just don't freak out about the idea of dating since that could be a turn-off? Just know, things will be okay, take things slow, and if it was meant to be, it would have happened.



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