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Author Topic: I'm ready to be a parent but my girlfriend isn't

August 13, 2018, 03:00:57 AM
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rtaylor28


My girlfriend and I have only been together for 2 years, but I’m ready to be a parent. I just feel like it’s time to have that kind of experience, you know? I don’t really see a problem with it and it just feels like the most natural next step we should take.

I mean we’re both in our late 20s, we both have jobs and enough savings, plus we’re madly in love. For some reason, she just doesn’t seem to want children. Does it have something to do with how Colombian women are raised? Maybe she wants to get married first, but we were never the most traditional couple. How do I open up the topic with her without getting a negative response? I realize it’s a sensitive topic for her, but I really feel like having a kid together is the next best thing to do. Please give me some advice!
« Last Edit: August 26, 2018, 04:32:56 PM by Staff »

August 13, 2018, 02:58:15 PM
Reply #1
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wallet


You should talk to her about this, tell her what you want and maybe she will agree or not but at least you will know for sure how things are. If she is not ready then you should wait but make sure to ask her if she desires kids because she may not want to have kids in the future.

August 14, 2018, 03:33:17 AM
Reply #2
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aprilblanquera13


You and my brother are in the same situation before. In their situation the girl was the one who is asking them to be engaged that's why my brother came up to a decision of proposing to her. But when she got the hint that my brother is going to propose she was about to back out. They we're together for 8 years and the girl is still not decided to marry him or not. I guess there are girls that needs more time for their selves and are afraid of being in the concept of marriage.
Maybe I can advice you that you could wait for her until she is ready.

August 14, 2018, 04:19:56 AM
Reply #3
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rtaylor28


You should talk to her about this, tell her what you want and maybe she will agree or not but at least you will know for sure how things are. If she is not ready then you should wait but make sure to ask her if she desires kids because she may not want to have kids in the future.

Good point. I will sit her down and discuss things thoroughly with her. If she isn't ready, I'm willing to wait. If she doesn't want children in the future, I am always willing to compromise for the sake of our relationship, as I love my girlfriend.

August 14, 2018, 04:22:12 AM
Reply #4
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rtaylor28


You and my brother are in the same situation before. In their situation the girl was the one who is asking them to be engaged that's why my brother came up to a decision of proposing to her. But when she got the hint that my brother is going to propose she was about to back out. They we're together for 8 years and the girl is still not decided to marry him or not. I guess there are girls that needs more time for their selves and are afraid of being in the concept of marriage.
Maybe I can advice you that you could wait for her until she is ready.

Oh wow, that sucks  :-\ I hope your brother and his girlfriend will work things out. Now that I think about it, I think time is what she needs most. I won't force her into it if she doesn't want to. Besides, I am willing to wait for her. :)

August 14, 2018, 09:08:52 AM
Reply #5
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Noahhh


You two should talk and discuss that matter very carefully, because having a child is not very easy. It's like having a bank account that has monthly decrease. School, clothes and such is expensive. Also if she is not ready do not force her, because it will affect of how the child will grow. Consult her parents if she is undergoing to such a problem, or give her more time.

August 14, 2018, 09:53:11 AM
Reply #6
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Corzhens


I know of several couples who have the same issue that the partner wants a child but the other partner is hesitant. Times have truly change. When I was young, it was customary for a couple to have a child. But now it seems that the child is not a priority anymore. In fact, I know of 2 couples who are childless by choice. Oh well, in your case I think you have to be frank with your partner. Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants. In case your wants don't match, no arguments, just status quo.

August 14, 2018, 09:56:24 AM
Reply #7
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Martinsx


Never force her into getting pregnant when she is not ready, and there is no way for her to get pregnant if she doesn't want to. If you don't know how to talk to her about it, I have the best solution for you to use and get her attention to having her own child.

Take her to events where parents come with their kids and play, if she see how happy those parents are with their children often, she will psychologically develop the desire to have her own children.

August 14, 2018, 11:40:19 AM
Reply #8
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jaymish


I agree that women these days are different. They work and have their own money so they can make their own choices. It has nothing do do with where she was born or how she was brought up. That comment also shows that you don't understand what having a child involves for a woman. You don't just pop out a human being and continue as normal.It changes your whole life. The way your body looks and feels. Your priority is now the baby. That's not a light decision and not every woman wants to make these kinds of choices. Talk to her and respect her decision.

August 16, 2018, 01:05:43 PM
Reply #9
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ion


Maybe she's not ready yet for much bigger responsibilities and still wants to enjoy life and time without any worrying, and just between you and her.  Try to do some outdoor activities with her, travel as long as you can.  Don't push her, just wait until she's ready.

August 16, 2018, 04:49:59 PM
Reply #10
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Steve5


I know of several couples who have the same issue that the partner wants a child but the other partner is hesitant. Times have truly change. When I was young, it was customary for a couple to have a child. But now it seems that the child is not a priority anymore. In fact, I know of 2 couples who are childless by choice. Oh well, in your case I think you have to be frank with your partner. Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants. In case your wants don't match, no arguments, just status quo.

I like how you said it. I agree. It's best to establish your common grounds and understand where things truly are. Some people are sure about not wanting kids. Some simply just need time to think and come to the decision themselves. It's about being honest with yourself and your partner.

August 17, 2018, 02:38:07 PM
Reply #11
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Crunky8


This isn't a big issue I think. There need a mutual resolution. You should talk to herself about this. I hope she will understand to be a parent like you.

August 18, 2018, 04:31:07 PM
Reply #12
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RoseKaizer


Don't force her, talk to her in a right way. Maybe she is really not yet ready to become parent. Just talk to each other.

 

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