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Author Topic: How to figure out if she's interested-I've been out of the dating pool for years

October 17, 2019, 08:02:21 PM
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DieCastRN


Sorry if this seems choppy and weird, I've never actually sought advice online before.

So, this girl (29 F) and I (42 M) both started working at our job (nurses) about 7 months ago and I'm trying to figure out if she has a crush on me.  Before anyone says anything about coworkers dating, there are several couples at our job who met on the job, so our employer doesn't have a problem with it.  I don't know if it matters but she's from India and I'm white as white can be.

From the moment we started working, I'd notice her looking at me when she thought I wasn't looking and whenever she'd catch me seeing her, she smiles.  She still does this, as soon as I walk in, I get a big smile, and sometimes she does this little coy smile and looks me up and down.  Over the course of the past few months, we've become close, not super close but closer than we've gotten to other coworkers.  We talk about a lot of stuff and she's always actively seeking me out whenever her assignment is slow.  I haven't noticed her do this with any other coworkers.  I don't always do the same as I'm trying to get to know other coworkers as well.

Other things she does include:

- Stands super close to me, as in our bodies touch, whenever we're standing next to each other.  She does the same thing when we sit down.

- Lots and lots of banter back and forth and mild flirting -  nothing too wild, but definitely some playful teasing back and forth.

- I forgot how it came up, but she's hinted that she doesn't think an age difference in a relationship is a big deal.  I think was joking around with her and said "you're just a kid," and she said something like "you're over 40 but you don't act it, so we're even."

- Anytime I mention an opinion that's different to hers, she'll find a way to change hers slightly to be in line with mine - this doesn't matter to me at all, I just find it kind of odd.

There's more I could elaborate on, but I had a long shift so I feel like this post is becoming disjointed.  If anyone needs anything clarified, please ask.

My ex and I divorced about a year ago and I haven't dated in years.  I don't know if I'm reading too much into this or whether or not there's something there.

Thanks in advance

October 20, 2019, 07:12:59 PM
Reply #1
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Ellabean


Hi,

I think it's usually the case, when a woman likes you, that she will be extra attentive.  That can look like smiles, questions, asking deeper than pleasantry questions, finding ways to be close to you, complimenting, teasing, finding ways to present her best, most likable side, etc.  But however it comes out (will vary from woman to woman) the prevailing impression will be one of attentiveness to you.  The best measure is to look at her level of attentiveness to other men, and see if it is noticeably higher toward you.

An additional insight, most women are sensitive to not wanting to lead on men they don't find attractive, so you can at least assume she does not find you unattractive if she is going out of her way to spend time with you.  It could be that she just likes and respects you as a person, with no romantic interest, though.  The best indicator of romantic interest would be the attentiveness ratio, I think.


October 22, 2019, 10:12:53 PM
Reply #2
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DieCastRN


Hi,

I think it's usually the case, when a woman likes you, that she will be extra attentive.  That can look like smiles, questions, asking deeper than pleasantry questions, finding ways to be close to you, complimenting, teasing, finding ways to present her best, most likable side, etc.  But however it comes out (will vary from woman to woman) the prevailing impression will be one of attentiveness to you.  The best measure is to look at her level of attentiveness to other men, and see if it is noticeably higher toward you.

An additional insight, most women are sensitive to not wanting to lead on men they don't find attractive, so you can at least assume she does not find you unattractive if she is going out of her way to spend time with you.  It could be that she just likes and respects you as a person, with no romantic interest, though.  The best indicator of romantic interest would be the attentiveness ratio, I think.

She'll go spend time with other coworkers but usually asks me to go with her, or if she doesn't and I walk by her she'll go "hey DieCastRN, where are you going?" or something like that.  If we're both floating (no assignment but are supposed to help out other nurses) she's usually around me.   Anyways, all of this is kind of irrelevanet because of the update below.

I ended up asking her out to lunch and we went out to lunch Saturday afternoon and we both had a really good time. We talked about quite a bit and ended up going for a walk afterwards and spending basically the entire afternoon together. I found out we have quite a bit more in common than I thought and that our senses of humor are similar (this is very important to me). We ended the date with a hug and I told her that I wanted to take her out on a proper date, which she agreed to and went on last night.

Last night was great as well. We went to dinner at a local french restaurant then spent sometime walking around downtown and finally had some physical contact. We ended up holding hands the entire evening and shared a kiss at the end of the night. Had a bit of a serious conversation about how we're going to act at work and if we're going to tell anyone yet. We've decided to keep it discreet for a couple of weeks to see if anything materializes out of this and if it does we'll end up telling our coworkers and manager(s).

She's definitely more forward than I initially thought, which is fine by me. I don't like when women play games are prefer them to be forthright about what they want.

October 24, 2019, 09:44:19 AM
Reply #3
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DeadBeatTrapper


She's definitely into you my guy. I would make a move and ask her out.

October 30, 2019, 07:29:54 AM
Reply #4
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ejournalz


Nice blog! If you want to get tips and tricks about relationship then visit Ejournalz
We are leading news and blog publishing agency help business organization to share their innovative ideas and insights. We post informative blogs which can help and guide you to your daily life and many more.

November 06, 2019, 01:58:48 PM
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grif777



 

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