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Author Topic: How much dating is normal? How can i get higher quality dates?

February 11, 2019, 01:03:31 PM
Read 1660 times


Hi everyone! The last months i've had a lot of dates from apps like Tinder and Bumble. I've turned it into some sort of psychological experiment/ self development project. I tell all of my dates that i'm not looking for anything serious and am dating a lot to gain more knowledge on the subject, other people and myself.
Recently the process has escalated quickly:

I kissed one girl that i was really in to. Needless to say she wasn't that much into me and i haven't heard from her.
Since that day i dated and kissed/slept with two other women in the same week.

They're great people and i feel like i can connect and interact easy with girls but i'm not feeling "it" with the ones that are really into me.


1:I can sleep and be intimate with a person but do the same thing the next day with someone else. Any comments on this? (I'm talking more than just sex. I mean hours of talking, listening music, watching movies, cooking, genuinely being interested in the other person,....)

2:I'm stuck in a pattern of having options with girls that i'm not that much in to. The ones i like don't like me as much.

If you don't really "care for them" (=not being in love) they want you more. If i fall in love with someone i screw up my "game"

February 13, 2019, 11:07:31 PM
Reply #1

Koko sen Neon

Being in such a forced environment can sometimes desensetize an individual. Online dating can be really great in finding new people but the availablity and accessibility can effect the emotional receptor. Leading to not being much interested. I would recommend not to intensely use online devices for date. As too much of anything can be bad. Take the experience you had and will as a learning process and a way to get comfortable with the idea of dating but try to put yourself in situation where your able to meet girls in real life situation and use the experience of talking and conversing with girls through the app, to ask her on dates in person. As sometime the change in the process can help develop a much more personal experience.
Try taking classes or events where your more likely to meet new people so it open more opportunities to develop a much more deeper connection that way.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2019, 11:10:19 PM by Koko sen Neon »

February 14, 2019, 12:33:44 PM
Reply #2


They're great people and i feel like i can connect and interact easy with girls but i'm not feeling "it" with the ones that are really into me.

If you ask me that's because you have less to lose with those you like less and so you radiate more confidence and security.

Sounds like a question of intensity also. Perhaps you're being a little too intense with those you're into, and the laid back "relaxed" attitude you display with those you are less into is more appealing in a dating scenario.

I say this because these sites tend to attract many who are looking to rekindle their romantic lives after a long term relationship, and pushing too hard or being too intense may be more than they can handle at this stage (where everything you do will remind them of their ex, etc).

Just a thought.
Author of dubious success and the pixelated face behind the articles at the unknownbreakup.com

February 14, 2019, 10:49:13 PM
Reply #3


 Goodness - your post is pretty immature and didn't add much value. But if this is your thing...go for it.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2019, 11:02:22 PM by winstonjack »


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