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Author Topic: How do you get past overthinking in a relationship?

November 27, 2019, 11:01:17 PM
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col200


Recently, I have realized based on feedback from other people, that I am really over thinking a lot of things in relationships. I am making bad choices because of these thought patterns. For instance, after a couple of dates with a woman I was really attracted to, I told her I thought we should see other people...out of fear that she would not like me as much as other men. This is very irrational, and subconscious.

 I would like to hear from others, how do you handle paranoia, insecurity, even illogical jealous thoughts? And how long does it take to really get to know someone in a relationship, and is there a point at which the overthinking subsides?

Is there a good standard to keep to, to discern whether you are being paranoid or whether the other person may be hiding things from you? I have recently started dating after 5 years of being single (most of that was my choice, after a bad relationship).

November 28, 2019, 04:48:28 AM
Reply #1
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Captain Black


Trust in a partnership is gained over time as you get to know each other more.

A tip I would give is to try and not to develop feelings to early and that way you are less likely to get hurt should things not work out.

At end of the day most relationships will end at some time or other unless you find that special person. In my case I had 23 previous partners until I found that right person . This means that 23 of my relationships were ended by me or my partner at some time or other.

This is something that you need to think about and handle which will enable you to enjoy another persons company more without worrying .Another thing to bear in mind, very few people would date a person if there wasn't something they liked about you . So stop trying to put them off by putting yourself down .They want to be with you .

November 28, 2019, 05:47:15 AM
Reply #2
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Ronny


So here are some ways you may be overthinking your relationship too much and effective ways to stop it, according to experts.
Just enjoy my life, people and you.

November 29, 2019, 07:27:13 AM
Reply #3
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PJ1989


Just always remember that your thoughts are not you. The mind tries its best to sabotage us at times and the best thing you can do is ignore the negative stuff.

When you overthink something to a huge degree, inevitably you end up thinking about the worst case scenario over and over again, which tempts you into saying or doing something you will probably regret later.

If you are an overthinker, in my experience you will never stop being an overthinker. However, if you can train yourself not to act on the negative thoughts they will have less power over you.

Good luck

November 29, 2019, 07:31:00 PM
Reply #4
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col200


Thats excellent! Thank you for helping steer me in a better direction. You are good at giving advice

Trust in a partnership is gained over time as you get to know each other more.

A tip I would give is to try and not to develop feelings to early and that way you are less likely to get hurt should things not work out.

At end of the day most relationships will end at some time or other unless you find that special person. In my case I had 23 previous partners until I found that right person . This means that 23 of my relationships were ended by me or my partner at some time or other.

This is something that you need to think about and handle which will enable you to enjoy another persons company more without worrying .Another thing to bear in mind, very few people would date a person if there wasn't something they liked about you . So stop trying to put them off by putting yourself down .They want to be with you .

November 29, 2019, 07:32:58 PM
Reply #5
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col200


Overthinking isn't curable? LOL, yes, that makes sense. Slowly overcoming it rather than thinking it will disappear. Appreciate your words

Just always remember that your thoughts are not you. The mind tries its best to sabotage us at times and the best thing you can do is ignore the negative stuff.

When you overthink something to a huge degree, inevitably you end up thinking about the worst case scenario over and over again, which tempts you into saying or doing something you will probably regret later.

If you are an overthinker, in my experience you will never stop being an overthinker. However, if you can train yourself not to act on the negative thoughts they will have less power over you.

Good luck

January 07, 2020, 03:40:12 PM
Reply #6
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jamesriske


Go out with other women. Don't get serious or settle on any one woman. That's why you're over thinking.

If you dated five women, you would not be stuck on just one.

January 10, 2020, 10:57:44 AM
Reply #7
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oliviabest28


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January 12, 2020, 03:13:45 PM
Reply #8
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Kate888


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January 14, 2020, 01:40:54 AM
Reply #9
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shanemcclure


  • You Spend A Lot Of Time Picking The Right Words To Text
    You're Always Asking Others For Advice On The Same
    You Always Have A "What If" To Worry About
Family Dispute Resolution Mediator and Practitioner in Victoria, Australia.

January 14, 2020, 03:35:14 PM
Reply #10
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js13jeff


Keeping things open are key to a successful relationship - there has to be a mutual trust between you and your partner. You have to be willing to be as open as you can with them, and they should be just as willing for you. There's a lot less to think about when you've discussed everything.

January 20, 2020, 07:37:58 AM
Reply #11
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buffalo52


May be you are traumatized by past experiences of negative relationships. My advice to you is that you see a professional for advice and enjoy dating, have sex, fall in love or get dumped.  Negative outcomes do not matter, what is messed up is letting  opportunities to enjoy life pass you by...

 

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