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Author Topic: How'd you feel if girlfriend tells you, you take her time and drain her energy?

June 06, 2019, 04:45:40 PM
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Hello guys,

I and my boyfriend usually have a good relationship. I usually don't complain about anything but he does if he doesn't like something. I told him a couple of times during fights that he takes my time or drain my energy.  once I told him he ruined my life because we spoked too much over the phone and I couldn't deliver my work promises. He started to complain more about these things and had become pickier and exaggerates my comments, so I told him he is fragile and touchy. he said I'm saying he is weak and not a man. The last time I said something that just implied he is messing up my schedule. He exploded and said he cannot live like this and he cannot take it anymore. He told me I make him feel insignificant and like a nag. The comment and talking about it over and over again made me mad because it makes me feel I'm a bad person.
Isn't he overreacting? what should I do?

June 10, 2019, 08:07:55 PM
Reply #1


I think you both have some issues to figure out together.
A good rule of thumb is that your partner should have at least two positive conversations for every one negative conversation. If you are having less positive conversations than 2 to 1, then you are in a negative relationship.
If you are in a positive relationship but you still feel like he is "nagging" you all the time, then that's his child-like way of telling you what he doesn't like. It is YOUR job to take it in like an adult and teach him how to behave like an adult. Sympathize with him first, and then try to correct actions by telling him how you would like to be spoken to. It doesn't sound like you are sympathizing with him. Also, talking on the phone is really important if you haven't spoken at all that day. However, he needs to realize that the phone conversation can't be too long if you have work to do.
If you are in a negative relationship and he nags you a lot, then he just isn't happy with the relationship. At that point, you should talk to him about your future together.

Also, it is a very harsh thing to tell someone, especially your partner, that they drain your energy. Even if it is true, you won't say that if you love them. You'll find a better way to tell them how you want to be treated.
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 08:15:37 PM by manwithaplan »

June 11, 2019, 04:14:00 AM
Reply #2


Y’all both need a better understanding of one aother as well as define the goals of the relationship.

Keep it binary. What do you truly want from this experience and what does he want. And if it doesn’t line up with what you want... Dip or make smart compromises.


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