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Author Topic: Having paranoia issues - Help!

September 02, 2019, 02:22:15 PM
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maverick1103


https://letschatlove.com/relationship-advice-for-men/ 

Hello all, I'm new here so please bear with me!

Brief background - I'm 8 months into a relationship with a great girl (5 years older than me, I'm 34) and things were great to start off with but recently, especially once we've been out and had a drink, we've had some arguments, with the most recent being this weekend just gone where she told me she had enough and was ending it with me. I had only told her in the week I was going to stop making her feel like crap and stop being paranoid however after a relatively good night I wanted to leave early, she wanted to continue to the nightclub but decided to come home with me, which then lead onto myself having a dig at her and then we argued; we then went back to mine and she got her stuff and wanted to leave but I stopped her as she wanted to walk home on her own at a ridiculous time in the morning and wouldn't let me walk her home. Long story short she ended up staying and we had a good talk and have decided we are both going to try and give it one more shot.

Now the recent events are on me, she's not really done anything as such, most of it is my  paranoia based on previous relationships! I've been in 3 big relationships over a 13-year spell, whilst she's mostly been single for most of her life and basically not had a boyfriend for a long time.

I've been cheated on before at least a few times, therefore, I have that in the back of my mind along with the fact my GF has predominantly been single and had a fair amount of nights out and 1 nightstands, so I am pretty paranoid if she goes out. Now since we've been together she's only been out with me and not on her own, but she's due to go out soon on her own, which has me worried.

I stupidly checked her phone last week because she told me that a guy she was previously with, who treated her badly, saw her and she told me he prank called her late at night; which turned out it was her calling him, when I saw this on her phone I immediately confronted her about it (which obvs didn't go down well) and she told me she accidentally called him. I didn't believe her at the time but after listening to her I believe her, I straight away apologised to her for checking her phone but I couldn't help myself.

She's not very good at talking, it seems to end up with me asking her several times what's wrong because I have an incline something is wrong, with 9 times out of 10 something being wrong, and then she gets annoyed that I'm going on but I can't help but be worried etc.

Ultimately I'm on here for some advice because I do not want to lose this girl as I find we get on so well and she's one of a kind, however I feel I'm pushing her away and I know she's not happy, I'm trying to not let myself get paranoid about things and learn to trust her. What are some ideas to try? Anyone able to share some advise at all?

T.I.A

 

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