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Author Topic: Hard to be Vulnerable...

May 02, 2019, 03:52:30 PM
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Hubstuck86


I have been married to the same woman for 11 years. We have two boys, successful jobs, and a great home. Ever since my second son wasn’t born (2013) I have been more distant and closed up emotionally when things get difficult. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety and am currently on medication for that. My wife is beyond amazing and is the best wife I could ever ask for.
     We’ve had several arguments over the past 6 years where I’m so distant she wonders what’s going on. It’s been related to me having a wall around me and not letting her in. She tells me everything and has no problem being vulnerable. We fought again last night and she’s tired of hearing the same responses. I’m hurting so much on the inside because I’m having trouble being vulnerable to her. I don’t know how to change that. I am looking for any advice on how to change my behavior or at least how to take baby steps toward proving I can change.
     I worry about everything and set standards I can’t reach. Has anyone else dealt with this? Thanks in advance.

May 03, 2019, 08:37:51 AM
Reply #1
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W_Amadeus_M


Hey!

I had this problem with all relationships that I was before. Mostly because I don't trust people my emotions.
This changed last summer, when I met the girl of my dreams and from first sight I decided that I will be completely, bluntly honest with her.
No matter what she asked, I always said truth, no matter how awkward this was to me. My reasoning behind it was that if we get together, I want her to like real me, with all my personality and mood swings.

This helped big time. We bonded super fast. I give this advice to everyone.
You have been with her for 11 years. Is there something she will not like You for?
If You are tired, say so, tell her You got a lot on Your mind lately. If she asks what. Answer. If You are not sure, say so, but try to give some logic into it.
For example: I'm not sure, but it could be that I'm bit stressed out at work. Or I want to do something new, would You want to go to small trip with me over weekends.

Why this helps in my opinion? Because You will be honest to Yourself, as well.

Good luck!


Best regards,
W.A.M.

May 06, 2019, 07:10:16 AM
Reply #2
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Larry45789


I’ve always had a problem with emotions. I found it easier to discuss it with someone you are comfortable with first then talking to her. It makes it so much easier

 

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