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Author Topic: Girlfriend texting other guys

February 12, 2019, 07:21:04 AM
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JimInChicago


I've been dating this girl for 5 months.  I don't think she's cheating on me, but she's forgotten her phone at my place twice. Both times, two guys I have never heard of, texted her.

Now I don't care if she had guy friends, but we've been dating for 5 months and she's never mentioned either guy.  She apparently has been texting back and forth with both guys for quite some time.

I confronted her about it and she denied that anything improper is happening with them.  But she later revealed that one of the guys has been asking her out, and I've noticed that since I asked her, she apparently turned the volume off on her phone.

I get the distinct feeling that she's hiding something from me.

Should I be worried? 
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 07:29:35 AM by JimInChicago »

February 12, 2019, 06:30:26 PM
Reply #1
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JNelmondo


Frankly, yes.

Not because it's guaranteed that anything untoward is happening, moreso because she now knows that this is fundamentally a trust issue and rather than address it she seems to have shrugged it off.

If the tables were turned here, would you not go the extra mile to ensure that she knew the long and short of the texts?

Sure, she denies it. Fair enough. But she has done nothing to ease your doubts. That's what makes my internal alarm bell ring.
Author of dubious success and the pixelated face behind the articles at the unknownbreakup.com

February 13, 2019, 08:53:54 PM
Reply #2
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Staff

Forum Staff
Frankly, yes.

Not because it's guaranteed that anything untoward is happening, moreso because she now knows that this is fundamentally a trust issue and rather than address it she seems to have shrugged it off.

If the tables were turned here, would you not go the extra mile to ensure that she knew the long and short of the texts?

Sure, she denies it. Fair enough. But she has done nothing to ease your doubts. That's what makes my internal alarm bell ring.

Good response @JNelmondo - +1 repped. you. I also emailed.  :D
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

February 14, 2019, 02:33:24 AM
Reply #3
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JimInChicago


Last night, I caught her lying to me.  I saw her texting one of these guys, so I asked her about it.  She denied that she was texting them.  So, I asked to see her phone and sure enough, she had texted one of them.

I still don't think she's cheating on me, but I don't understand why she's hiding this from me.

February 14, 2019, 05:26:19 PM
Reply #4
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JNelmondo


Last night, I caught her lying to me.  I saw her texting one of these guys, so I asked her about it.  She denied that she was texting them.  So, I asked to see her phone and sure enough, she had texted one of them.

I still don't think she's cheating on me, but I don't understand why she's hiding this from me.

I was going to say you're in a bit of a bind, because insisting will make you look like you lack trust. But the fact that you flat out caught her lying...

Well, let me put it this way.

You might not have caught her cheating, but in a sense lying about something like this is still a form of betrayal. She has lied to your face at least twice now. That says something about where this is all heading.

There's not much point in bringing it up over and over since she's already proven willing and able to lie to you, so prodding her gently is only going to end up driving you insane. Either you confront her directly, proof in hand (and risk increasing the tension), or you let it go and trust she's doing the right thing (and risk further betrayal). There are no easy choices here, though I know what I'd do.

Good response @JNelmondo - +1 repped. you. I also emailed.  :D


Thank you! I got an email about being mentioned, but that's about it :)


Author of dubious success and the pixelated face behind the articles at the unknownbreakup.com

February 15, 2019, 03:54:28 AM
Reply #5
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winstonjack


Why are you denying the obvious? Do you think if she was into you she would be acting this way? She is playing the field so don't be surprised if one day she says goodbye when someone comes along that is  "the one".

 

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