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Author Topic: Has flirting lead to cheating?

August 12, 2019, 05:57:09 AM
Read 1841 times


Wife constantly looks, smiles, and I think flirts with other men. She says no, absolutely not. It happens a lot and makes me uncomfortable. Again she says no, it’s my imagination. Over my shoulder, beside me, it doesn’t matter. She even turns to follow someone with her eyes. On holiday a hotel owner said our young guide could sleep in our room with us, she said, “no problem”.
What does she do when I’m not with her?
Is it my problem?
 Is she a flirt and no more?
Or does her behaviour draw men on and lead to cheating?
Or is it just her way?
Her behavior had undermined my trust and this is acerbated by my replies to her declaration of feelings.
She is slim, fit and pretty and always wears tight clothing in which she looks great.
Opinions, please!
« Last Edit: August 28, 2019, 09:26:07 AM by Catfox »

August 12, 2019, 06:55:40 AM
Reply #1


Hey there. It's totally understandable that you'd feel uncomfortable and insecure when your other half is good looking and checking people out. One way to figure this out is to talk to her about your concerns, let her know that her behaviours are making you uncomfortable. If she really cares about you she'd be willing to make an effort and change for the better. However, if she cheats at last, man you deserve better.
On the other hand, be proud that she chose you and married you.
lol sorry idk if these help but hope you'll have a nice day~

August 12, 2019, 11:39:59 AM
Reply #2


She doesn’t want to talk about this subject. Closed book, in fact she’s prone, for a quiet person, to go into a lather over the subject.

August 18, 2019, 03:23:25 PM
Reply #3


I've met women like this before. It's definitely hard to have in the back of your head! But I think if your married she has shown commitment there!

August 28, 2019, 09:25:19 AM
Reply #4


Jublirz, Thanks for your comment. But Then she has had messages on her phone from men saying, “can’t talk now.”
Going 75 miles to a town, getting a haircut, coming home and showering. Telling me the hairdresser shows pics on his mobile of naked women being body painted and tells her about whores in Thailand. She likes such real stories. Then telling me with a wink, after not going to him for two years, that he was really good (hairdresser?).
« Last Edit: August 28, 2019, 09:27:23 AM by Catfox »

August 31, 2019, 07:27:38 PM
Reply #5


I would seriously consider confronting her and asking for an explanation for her flirty behavior. If you don't do this now, sooner or later she will do what you are fearing the most. If she's serious about you, she would not act in this manner that would make any man go crazy. She's only asking for trouble, a break-up with her current behavior.

Autistic Screeching: A Cry for Help from Children with Autism? 

September 05, 2019, 07:04:30 PM
Reply #6


I would sit her down and explain to her that her behavior is worrying you. Just be completely honest about how it’s making you feel. She could just be the kind of women that likes the attention but doesn’t have any interest in pursuing anything with someone else. Hope it all works out!

September 13, 2019, 06:53:29 AM
Reply #7


She has been sat down and spoken to about this. She says its okay or in my head. Sometimes she just does not reply at all. For me, her reactions encourage a Man to hit on her!
She insists she is shy, whilst sometimes she follows men round with her head as they pass.
Ok. We look. But she is sly about it as well. I believe she thinks anything up to actual sex with another man is acceptable. Regardless of my feelings.

September 13, 2019, 08:34:56 AM
Reply #8


Hi there and good morning! Your situation would definitely bother me quite a bit and I would be very ambivalent in the relationship, as well as probably fearful, worried and insecure. I have strong problems with lust yet in 6 years my wife has never had this problem with me. It’s extremely beneficial to very strictly define what monogamy means to each of you. It sounds to me like the two of you have different perceptions as to what a monogamous relationship should be like and what behaviors are acceptable. My girl and I have very clearly defined these things, we’re both extremely aware that even holding someone’s hand would be a major red flag. I know you’ve said you already talked to her, but I don’t hear that you’ve tried hard enough. At this point I wouldn’t give her a choice. I’d let her know the situation has me anxious, scared and very ambivalent about the relationship, and that this isn’t something that’s optional to be addressed. You should WANT your woman, not need her, and I personally would not could not be with somebody who was unwilling to get into such an important topic with me. My wife knows secrets about me that I haven’t told to a single other soul. I would stand my ground man. Also, just for the sake of both sides, make sure you take a good look at yourself and figure out if your doing anything at all to contribute to the situation. Have a great day, I hope I helped!

September 26, 2019, 08:18:41 AM
Reply #9


Thanks for the comments. However she had been sat down, and all she says is everything is in my imagination. Not true. Slowly it’s come out that she has no problem giving a huge smile to a guy at a party or on holiday. For her it’s ok, but what’s when I’m not there?
She will not discuss this, I think that she gets off on the attention and doesn’t seem to care about how I feel and the effect on the other me who sometimes look at me in astonishment.
Then I feel stupid and hurt. She just doesn’t see it!


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