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Author Topic: Falling apart

March 16, 2019, 02:15:32 PM
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I don't know how to start but I'll start with this.  I've been with her for 10+ years have 3 amazing children, who are pretty small 5 year old and 4 month olds.  Last year she stopped working because it was "stressful" for her, terms she used.  So I told her stop working and I'll handle the financial end of things, probably my first mistake.  Couple of months later we find out shes pregnant. I must say we are not married.  We later than find out we are having to babies.  Which definitely mean she can't go back to work.  Long story short we have the kids everything is fine until one day everything boils over we have a heated argument because I don't make enough time to spend with her.  Nags because I am always working.  But how am I not supposed to go to work if I am the only one providing?  Anyway she is a stay at home mom, you would think that the house would be clean every now and than, not all the time because I get it having 3 kids at home almost all day is a hard enough job.  Since that heated argument I felt very lost, she said somethings that I still can't get over.  I feel a little underappreciated, for the things that I do.  I know my story is a little all over the place but I just can't seem to get my head on right. 

I have been talking to someone for the past 2 years.  Only talking it hasn't gone past talking or texting. She does work for the same company she lives about 2 hours away.  She knows about my "GF" and how we just had kids and because of that she doesn't let it go past talking or a friendship, however, there is a strong connection between us.  Lots of flirting. 

What I am trying to say is that I am not happy with my babies mom and I have no idea what to do especially because we have small kids.  I grew up without a father and if I end things I don't want my kids to feel as if I abandoned them.  I know that is not the case because I've sworn to be the best father I could be, but ultimately my happiness should be priority right?

Lately, I've been working out and losing weight trying to make myself happy and get into healthy shape shes noticed the changed but she hasn't tried anything to change herself.

I don't know what to do.  I am just rambling on... Sorry if this doesn't make any sense.

March 18, 2019, 05:13:56 PM
Reply #1


I understand where you're coming from, and it's a difficult situation. I can offer only this advice and have one question for you. Have you talked to her? I don't mean a "you need to do this and that" conversation, but more like a " this is what I'm up against"  conversation and remember delivery is key here. If you walk in with an attitude that she is all wrong, it's over and you won't win. The question I have is you mentioned that she said something. Maybe it's just my curiosity but I wonder is it relevant to your situation or was she just blowing off steam. Keep in mind she is at home with little ones all day and that can be stressful. As far as your friend, that's treading troubled waters there. Even if your friend stays distant, the idea and excitement of it can lead to another who won't want to keep it platonic.


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