I’m 19 years old, born and raised in the Dominican Republic (still living here) but my entire family is from Arab descendance. I have been with my gf for more than 1.5 years and one big problem that has been there since the beginning has surfaced as of yesterday, my gf is sad and mad because I’ve never actually involved her with my family, and I’m not involved with hers. Reason is that my mom doesn’t approve my relationship so much given that my gf is Dominican and no one in my family has never actually dated foreigners for a long time like I have.  Another reason is that Dominican parents tend to absolutely love their children’s relationship and think of them as man and wife. Given those two reasons, I don’t like to involve her with my family because of the sense of disapproval, my family knows her, but I don’t actually have them meet so much, and I don’t want to be involved with her family because of the fear of being thought of as her future husband.

We were having dinner last night and she brought the subject up, it was a serious discussion and she was crying her eyes out, because her mother, who once cared for me, told her that we don’t make a good couple given that I don’t see her parents much (given the reasons I told earlier) and every time she goes to my house, my parents don’t engage in much conversation with her, not because they hate her, it’s just that they don’t approve the relationship very much because of the arab-latino thing.

That doesn’t stop us though, we love each other deeply and care for each other. But the thing is that if my fears don’t go away, the relationship won’t last and I just feel the relationship will never be the same given that problem. How do I lose the fear of being involved of her parents? And how do I become not ashamed of her because of my family’s cultural indifference with this country?

Any sort of help would be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

I get where you are coming from and I am in a relationship where we come from different cultures, but thankfully the differences are no where near as severe as yours.

I totally get why you are torn, but if you really love this girl and she loves you then you should try and make a go of it. Yes, you will not be happy, both of you, with family disapproval but you will also not be happy if you split and you may come to resent your family for it and regret you didn't make a go of it with her. Is it an option for you both to move away? - that might might be the option that gives you both the best chance of success.