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Author Topic: Confused about this situation

September 25, 2019, 01:20:23 PM
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bullakose


I have been trying to work on this problem on my own for a long time, but now I think it's time to get other perspectives. This is because this is my first time actually being in a committed relationship, so I'm not sure if any of the problems I'll share are normal in a relationship.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. She has always been scared of me using her phone, but lately in the past month or so she will not even let me go anywhere near it. She shows me her snapchat and messages when I ask and there is nothing, but I have never seen any of the other apps on her phone or DMs. She could also be deleting something. Or maybe she's not doing anything suspicious, but I see no other reason why she hides her phone like that.
Another thing is she seems very controlling, but here is where I'm not sure if this is normal because she always tells me it's normal for relationships (part of the reason she seems controlling). We go to the same college. She gets mad if I sit by a girl in class, even if I sat down first. She is mad because I took the same class as her roommate which was not planned. When we are hanging out with her friends I basically have to seem antisocial because if I talk to them she gets mad. I also looked up some ways to tell if a girl is controlling, and 8 of the 10 ways to tell were true to our relationship. She also every once in a while gets mad because I had sex with other girls long before we were dating. She has also been getting mad at little things lately. I finally asked her if she was trying to get me to break up with her because I believe being direct is important. She also previously said she was trying to get a counselor to convince her to break up with me. After I asked her, she claimed she only said that to make me mad. All of this started after I had to go home for 3 weeks in the summer. Another thing she does is threaten to break up with me a lot, like she will just say "if you ___ I will break up with you." I can't tell if she is serious or not. Another thing I should add, ever since I asked her this question yesterday she has been sad and obviously was not happy with me asking a question like that.
I am very confused about this situation. Part of the reason why is because when we aren't fighting, we are having a really good time and I can tell she's happy. I know not all girls behave the same way, but is anything of what I said generally true for relationships?
« Last Edit: September 25, 2019, 01:27:28 PM by bullakose »

 

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