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Author Topic: Cheated when drunk with my ex. Need advice!

May 21, 2019, 08:06:47 AM
Read 2709 times


I need help and I know I probably don't deserve it, but let me explain the circumstances. If you deem myself worthy of any words I would appreciate it.

Blacked out 2 weeks ago after a long night of drinking. Woke up the next day in a hotel room with my ex girlfriend. Definitely had sex with the ex. I explain to her that I have a girlfriend and I'm sorry that things got out of hand last night. Ex agrees that we were both very drunk and says don't worry about it. 2nd big eff up on my part is not going to my current girlfriend (of 6 months) and telling her what happened. I know I'm a dirtbag.

Fast forward two weeks to present day. Current girlfriend is on vacation for a week. Current girlfriend tells me that ex girlfriend is messaging her about us hooking up two weeks ago. What do I do? Lie like the selfish asshole I am or tell the truth and lose what I think is the love of my life?

Details: Current and ex girlfriends do not know each other. Ex girlfriend Instagram stalked me to find current girlfriends username to message her. Why all of a sudden is this happening? HELP please..

May 23, 2019, 04:31:53 AM
Reply #1


U are so stupid.
First of all u had to tell the truth on first ur meet.
Now you don't have any choice,just tell the trueth.

May 23, 2019, 03:02:49 PM
Reply #2


Truth will set you free, don’t be afraid to try again!

May 26, 2019, 05:02:47 PM
Reply #3


If you cheated on your Girlfriend, then she doesn't really mean that much to you, does she. 
Drunkenness is no excuse.  If you truly love this woman, you beter be crawling on your hands and knees for forgiveness. 

But, She probably is done with you.

May 27, 2019, 05:59:41 PM
Reply #4


Keep your mouth shut act like nothing happened. Why  piss off your new GF

By the way when I was a teenager in the navy I had sex with over 87 women  all but 4 were married. Many were wives living on base  when their husband was  at sea or  in the brig  or stationed overseas  for a while 

Stuff happens  just enjoy life 

May 28, 2019, 02:48:26 PM
Reply #5


You screwed yourself. Tell her the truth. Your current is already going to have trust issues.

May 31, 2019, 06:40:29 AM
Reply #6


You have to tell her i'm afraid, she deserves that at least.

June 01, 2019, 07:42:32 AM
Reply #7


Hey Jay! Check out this post, I gave some advice here. your scenario starts at 9:00 https://youtu.be/gnMBIoKHEeQ?t=540
I hope it helps!  :) :)

June 02, 2019, 06:07:38 PM
Reply #8


First thing is that you should've told her what happened when it happened. Now she's probably feeling insecure and over there looking crazy because u couldn't tell her the truth because u were scared of her reaction. But that comes from maturity. You clearly aren't ready for a monogamous relationship. Honestly you should let her be and go on about her business. Your ex is messy and is full of drama it wasn't her place to tell your current gf. I would cut her off completely also. Being honest is def the best option in all situations. Hopefully u will learn from ur mistakes. Good Luck...also another word of advice, make sure u take care of yourself before u start trying to be with others.

June 03, 2019, 06:09:54 PM
Reply #9


Explain to your girlfriend your fear of losing her. Tell her you didn't intend on sleeping with your ex and that you were going to tell her you just needed time to figure out why it happened in the first place.

June 05, 2019, 10:40:04 AM
Reply #10


The fact that you are even considering lying is testament to the fact that you are not ready to be in a committed relationship.  You cheated, you didn't come clean, when confronted, you are actually wondering if lying is the right move?  No.  All the advise from people here trying to figure out a way to sugar coat what you did is horrible.  The only chance you have at all to have a healthy relationship with this person is to be 100% honest and complete about what you did.  Everything.  Do not sugar coat it.  You got drunk, and you ended up sleeping with your ex girlfriend, and then you deliberately withheld that information hoping she wouldn't find out.  That's the truth.  Tell her this - and she will likely drop you (as she should), but if she decides to give you another chance, at least you will start off on a foundation of blatant honesty which is the only chance this relationship has.  It probably won't work, and it probably shouldn't work - because what you did is an ender in most cases.  That's just the way it works.

June 26, 2019, 02:13:59 AM
Reply #11


Truth. No good will come from you lying. Maybe in the short term, but in the long run it all comes back. Does this relationship stand a chance? Most likely not. I hope you told her the truth, it's not easy to do.

June 26, 2019, 04:56:34 AM
Reply #12




What you are about to read is NOT “Jimmy Stewart” advice.  Seriously, nothing good will come from you telling the truth.

First - all is fair in love and war till the ring is on the finger.......  surely I’m not the only one that’s heard that one.

Second - there’s no proof.

Third - your ex is a psycho.  I’ve dealt with crazy ex girlfriends before.  They deserve zero attention.  Zero

Yeah, she’s planted a seed of doubt but it’s time for your poker face and just tell your girlfriend “she’s a nut job”.

Let it remain white........

If you’re really worried about have your ex served with a restraining order.

For me, the bigger transgression here is your ex.  She has no business trying to mess up other lives.

I’m sure I’ll catch hell for this but enough is enough. 

Stalkers, manipulators, gossips, Beware! 

September 30, 2019, 06:13:05 PM
Reply #13

Confused giraffe

Yeah you def should of told her right away, especially as your ex has stalked her. . .

I've almost been there. , I've had drunken mistakes with an ex (luckily I've been single)
People say you can't blame being drunk. . .Ummmm yeah you can,depending how drunk you were at the time.

Just come clean to her. Tell her you know you were wrong for not telling her to begin with ,but you were just hoping the mistake would stay in the past and not ruin your relationship.
It isn't gonna happen again so you didn't wanna upset her over something so stupid.

I've just thought to check how long ago this question was posted lol. . .
How did you get on? Did things go ok?


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