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Author Topic: Both in love but can't be together

September 01, 2019, 03:18:34 PM
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Dear forum,

About four months ago i met a really cool girl, she is 30 years old while i am only 25 years old. We're both members of a crossfit gym so we're in a groupchat together (that's how she got my number). She started sending me messages in a private chat but i really didn't think something was behind it.

A couple weeks later during a get together with members, i kissed with her and she dragged me over to sleep over at her place.

Since then we both initiated hanging out and to go on dates, we probably had around 12 dates and some more meet-ups.

We can get along so so good and i looked forward meeting her every single time. She even initiated 'the talk' and was wondering what this was leading to. She told me she felt in love with me and enjoyed every bit of it. But doesn't know how to make it work due to the age gap. I am still a master student and need to study for two more years while she is working full time already.

I agreed and told her i didn't feel pressure of her probably wanting to move things quickly if things go right between us.

Then after a couple days she went pretty silent on text, but i didnt't start to chase her, even tho i felt a lot of tension, i remained cool.

Then after a week she sended me a text that she felt like she was pushing me away, but she couldnt figure out why because she genuinly feels so good when she is with me.

So i called her and we talked about it for an hour. She told me that she doesnt want to pressure me into going fast because she really want to have children some day and she fears not being able to get them if she gets older and older. So she has a inner conflict between her being in love with me and her not wanting to risk anything.

After this chat we met a couple more times, texted a lot, had really good face tk face conversarions and we were really intimate aswell.

But then after a week we spend almost two full days talking about it, she felt like she just couldnt do it eventho she really wants it. We had a very emotional conversation, she cried a lot and told me she think she'll regret her decision.

She also told me multiple times she didnt want me to leave because that will.be the end us.

I really don't know what to do, i have strong feelings with her and i feel like i can't convince her that her picture of how she wants to live her life fits how i want to live mine.

Does anyone have any advice?

September 02, 2019, 11:02:19 AM
Reply #1


The age gap shouldnt really matter to be honest, especially if you both feel the same.
What you need to do is tell her about your studies and tell her you need to make sure you complete them to the best you can do. She still has 10+ years to have a baby in the future so if she wants them with you then there is alot of time left so no need to worry.

You need to speak to her about your future and what you want in life too and make sure she listens to you. You both cant be clouded by love. Just be truthful is the best way


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