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Author Topic: Appropriate behavior?

June 29, 2020, 02:09:22 PM
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My wife and I have been married for 15 years. I have always felt that we have a rock solid relationship with no real problems. A few months back, my wife started having some bouts of depression. There were days she just got down and didn’t care. Over the past few years, she has also worked very very hard to get into shape. She is in amazing shape now and looks phenomenal. A month or two after she began having her fight with depression, she started posting selfies, and began getting very positive feedback from friends. This, of course, have her a bit of a confidence boost and she started feeling a little better. There were a couple of creeps who would heart react every selfie and post inappropriate comments. I noted how uncomfortable I was with this and she deleted these people saying if it hurts me, it hurts her too. Overtime, she stopped posting selfies in her wall and moved more towards just posting in her Facebook stories. She began receiving multiple messages and friend requests everyday. She was very up front and told me she absolutely loves the attention and has had zero feelings of depression since she’s been getting this attention. I swallowed my pride and didn’t say much because it made her happy, even though it was hurting me. That eventually developed into a craving for social interaction. She was yes to go hang out with friends by herself without me, because she needed time to herself to get away from the family setting and have fun with friends. Which I get, but the main problem is, mostly all of these old friends from high school are men. She saw it was absolutely killing me, and proposed a break so she can  have her fun without it hurting me. I explained my feelings and desire to just stay together. She has promised me, which I 100% believe because she is basically incapable of lying, that she has zero desire to have a relationship with anyone else. She just has developed a craving for this attention that she cannot give up. It has gotten to the point that she removed mention of our marriage in Facebook and will not wear her wedding ring when she’s out with friends because it may cause her to get less attention. We discuss it almost daily. She desperately hopes it’s just a faze that will eventually die off, but she is unwilling to stop in the mean time for fear of falling back into depression. Again, I do not believe she is cheating whatsoever. I do perhaps fear overtime she will develop a connection with somebody else, but I know she has no desire to sleep with them. She just craves their attention. Am I wrong to be upset? Am I wrong for agreeing to allow this behavior for her happiness? Am I wrong for wanting her to acknowledge our marriage on Facebook? Are my feelings misplaced? She agrees that her actions are selfish and hurtful, but she doesn’t want to stop because it makes her feel so good and she’s afraid of falling into depression again. Are these normal feelings she’s feeling? Please help!!!

June 30, 2020, 02:50:02 PM
Reply #1


Like you said, she is very egoistic.

I think you are naive to believe it only stays with having fun.
I would not put up with it, she basically is putting herself above you.

July 01, 2020, 05:55:32 AM
Reply #2


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