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Author Topic: An old class mate!

December 18, 2019, 01:42:39 PM
Read 608 times


Well...here goes.
I was with my wife 20 years,had my 2 kids and last year it went south when I caught her with another man so we finished.
Ffwd one year...I'm on FB and see a lady that sat beside me at school so...I sent a friend request which she accepted.
We chat on messenger and I find out her husband cheated and moved on and left her with her 3 girls.
So...this lady and I chat on and off but over the past two weeks it's become daily chat.
She's stunningly beautiful,she's smart,funny,kind hearted and I've fallen totally for her but I don't think she wants a relationship and is still healing.
I dropped hints about the way I feel but I think she's too hurt from her past.
Yes...I think she likes me but timings wrong and yes...this lady makes me bounce when we talk.
I really don't wanna screw it up so thinking of backing off and avoiding for a while and see what happens.
Much needed advice required.
Also...her free time is nil as she works 9+5 every day and all weekend in a bar on nights to pay the debt husband left.
One amazing woman who I've totally fallen for and I hadn't seen her in 30 year's
I will be seeing her this weekend but not as a date.
I have a function to attend in the bar she works in during the weekend and she's on bar duty.
It was on her recommendation that I attend the function just to be clear I'm not stalking her, lol.
This is a very confident and independent lady,the looks of a model...she even sent me photos of herself,not nudes but respectably dressed for a recent event photos that were for me personally.
The signs look good but when I drop a flirty line in...the trail goes cold yet she still chats!!!
« Last Edit: December 18, 2019, 03:59:57 PM by Stratguy46 »

December 20, 2019, 01:17:52 PM
Reply #1


Any advice folks on what I should do?

January 05, 2020, 10:25:13 AM
Reply #2


As what I feel, the lady needs more time to recuperate (heart and mind, maybe) and at the same time need to juggle between work and life as she has 3 girls to feed. Just let her feel she has someone who can listen to her when she needs it. Be a friend, lend a helping hand whenever necessary. Maybe in due time, you will see results.

January 07, 2020, 03:12:46 PM
Reply #3


She doesn't sound very good for a number of reasons.

First she has 3 kids, do you want to support, provide for, and raise someone else's kids?

You say her husband left her in debt? I find that hard to believe and it's a common lie for women.  The fact is that in divorce, women take everything and the man is left having to pay for all the debts.  If she has any debt, it's probably from her buying junk on her own credit cards or running up high student loans, which is common for women. If she's telling you it's debt her husband left her with, she's lying. Family courts shift the marriage debts to the man, always.

If she's attractive and works as a bartender, she's banging other guys left and right. This goes without saying and you're a fool to think otherwise. I have never met a female bartender who is not banging at least one new guy a week. And I've met thousands of them.

If you are really serious about this woman run her credit report and go talk to her ex husband. I'm absolutely serious. Before you commit all your money and resources to her and her three kids, do a little research. I bet you'll hear a whole different story from her ex husband. Have an open mind and go talk to him. 30 minutes with him could save you from losing 80% of your assets, your future paychecks, and years of misery with this woman.

Guys, don't get serious with single moms, don't date bartenders unless it's a one night stand, and always research a prospective girlfriend before making a commitment.

If you guys think I'm cynical consider this. In all my years of life, every friend that I have encouraged to investigate potential girlfriends ended up dumping them because they all found out they were lying to them. Every single one and I know of dozens of instances. Guys fall in love and they lose their common sense and women use that to their advantage. Step back from your situation, look at it objectively and if you have to, hire a private investigator for a few hundred bucks and check her out. I guarantee you'll find something out that will be a deal breaker for you and you'll thank me for saving you hundreds of thousands of dollars in the long run.

Think realistically here. You're talking about a good looking bartender with three kids who complains about having debts that her husband left her. How many red flags do you need ?

RUN !!!!!!!
« Last Edit: January 07, 2020, 03:15:22 PM by jamesriske »


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