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Author Topic: Amazing relationship but she's not as turned on by me sexually as other guys

October 13, 2019, 10:15:56 PM
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SimCain


Hello,
   My girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship and I've just proposed to her a week ago and she's beyond excited.   She's 45 and has been a free spirit her whole life and has had 3 other guys propose to her and she broke it off with them early on and has never been married.   We have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a month and she says she's never missed any of her other boyfriends she's had a relationship with except for me and it's a totally different experience for her and she's actually surprised by it.   She also is surprised at her reaction to the thought of being married.  She's been looking at wedding dresses, planning the wedding almost immediately, planning taking pictures and everything.  I was shocked too about her reaction- we both are.   She's been so independent her whole life this seems completely out of character for her but it feels amazing that she feels that way about me.   

My only concern about this relationship is the sex feels very vanilla at times and sex is extremely important to me in a relationship.    I'm used to having very passionate sexual relationships with my partners and have been very flattered how much they have liked having sex with me.    I hate to say it but early on in our relationship, I saw a text from her ex and snooped and found out that when they were dating she was extremely turned on by him and it feels like she was way more attracted sexually to him than me.   I think is very common.  Many people had ex's that they were sexually more attracted to than the person who they chose to marry.   I get this but it tears me apart sometimes and it really hurts.   We do have great sex but I feel like she's not turned on as much as she could be and it's an attraction thing.   I know she's crazy about me in all other ways but I wish "I did it" for her like this other guy.   

I don't know how to navigate these feelings without causing stress between us.

 

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