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Author Topic: After Second Date Problem me(m24) she(f21) Smooth game or did i screw up?

February 04, 2019, 06:52:04 PM
Read 1065 times


Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum so i'll get right in to it!

Lately i've been dating a lot because i want to find out what kind of women i like, become more experienced and gain more knowledge on the subject. I've read some books and did my research on communication and so far everything is going better and better. One thing/specific girl is bothering me though:

I recently met a girl on a dating app. One night she texted me asking me if i "am able to handle life well" She said she wasn't feeling too great that night so i proposed meeting to talk. She ended up giving me her adress so we could meet up for the first time at her place. I wasn't expecting too much so i arrived calm and self assured thinking this would be either a sex hookup or some other interesting encounter.
We talked a lot, had common interests, loved the same music, laughed like we were children and even played with roller skates in her room. Needless to so say it was awesome. She gave me all the signs of interest: laughing, staring at me with big eyes, touching me and asking questions. After just 1 hour, she put her head in my lap en looked at me and i immediately went for the kiss. She liked it.
Eventually she asked me what i would do if she went to bed. I replied "i'll sleep next to you of course" she smiled and agreed. just before going to her bed she told me she didn't want sex. I told her that wasn't a problem. Despite her telling me she didn't want to sleep with me i made my move anyway (subtle and respectful but clear) and we made out a little bit. She then turned away turning on the light next to her bed and was softly crying. I asked her what the problem was. She said she was afraid of being hurt. I felt like something more was going on than just that. After that we spend an awesome night talking and laughing until i left the next morning after breakfast. Before i left she asked me if i wanted to join her going to a museum that day. I had things planned that day so i left to do my stuff.
Since that night we've been on a date and i took her to go bowling. Again everything seemed great except for the fact that she suddenly ran cold again telling me there was something wrong and has a problem but she doesn't know exactly what it is. Something involving family she said. At the end she asked me if i wanted to see her again. She also said i "shouldn't expect too much" I said i expected nothing at all, just fun. She asked if it would be inappropriate if she would kiss me. I smiled and joked that would be innapropriate and kissed her. I told her she could contact me and left. It's been 5 days and she hasn't texted me. Needless to say she's beautiful and i dig this girl despite the fact there's obviously something wrong here.

What does she mean with: don't expect too much? (don't expect sex? don't expect relationship? i have low self esteem?)
Is she just looking for some distraction and making me believe she likes me?
Ex boyfriends or family problem or both?

I have options and i'm not crazy but somehow i'm not sure what to think of this. Should i contact her or let it go?


May 29, 2019, 01:14:29 PM
Reply #1


She is confusing, maybe not on purpose. Would try to formulate directly what you feel about situation, not dramatized, just clear.

September 16, 2019, 04:05:58 PM
Reply #2


Next time you talk, just ask her to explain. That's the simplest way to get to the point. If she won't, then decide if you are willing to spend time figuring out her issue.


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