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Author Topic: A very very long crush on someone and I can't take her out of my mind!

June 01, 2019, 05:26:25 PM
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Hello everyone, english is not my first language and I am sorry for my future mistakes!

I really need some help and serious advice with this amazing girl that stole all my attention for years now. To start from the begining, we met online, watching the same series on a site and after a few messages there we moved on to facebook, I asked for it, I was in Highschool, second year, she was just starting it, one year younger than me. Once we started chating on messenger for the first time, we talked for couple of hours, then the next day again, and so on everyday for almost 2 months, time in which I got to know her better, and all I can say I was very interested in her in the first week, and very rapidly I was attracted, always looking forward to talk to her, we started talking on the phone and got closer and closer. After 2-3 months I decided to tell her that I like her, and not as a friend only but more, she rejected me, the main reason was the distance, reasonable and so we went on as friends.

Around one year later, I had to ask again and tell her again that my feelings only got stronger but again on the same reason and on top of that she said I am not really her type. Well I accepted that, continued as friends, 3 years in with our friendship I got my driving license, saved money, and went on a trip to finally visit her, it's a 350'ish miles road, but I was determined to meet her before I move for university in another country and get even further from her, my intention wasn't to confess again, just to have some moments with her, and we did, we went out for 2 days everywhere, we ate we took a walk in the evening, went shopping, she showed me some nice places from her city, went to a movie, all in all great moments, never regret it, 5 months after this we lost contact, I got busy with uni, she started to become more distant and stoped talking. A few months after we stoped I got ina  relationship with someone for 3 years. I loved that girl (we broke up, things started to feel wrong and love kinda disapeared) but even so I never managed to go through an entire week and not think of this girl I met in highschool, every now and then I would dream of her, wish she is okay and safe. Right before I was about to end the relationship I texted her on her birthday, she was surprised I still remember, then again on Christmas, and from there we started talking again, everyday, a lot, and about everything.

We got even closer, and even though she changed a little over the years all I managed to do, was love her even more, after 6 years she was still on my mind, 3 of which we never had a conversation and yet, I can;t get her out of my damn head. Didn't confess anything to her since, now we are 6 months in out renewed relationship, a month ago she invited me on a trip to the sea, just us as friends, we had a great time, sadly, as friends only, but another memory with her I will never forget, 4 days I was with her, slept in the same bed, shared the same room did the same things. But she sees me as a friend, and from what I get from her I don't have many chances for more. She had a few relationships while we lost contact but nothing now, some geniuses didn't know what treasure they lost and yet not available to me. We are going to meet again, my invitation, to congratulate her on finishing university and I ordered her a drawing,a portrait of her, she always said she likes to look in the mirror in the morning and smile but recently she feels somewhat sad and lonely and I can;t seem to help and thought I can offer her, her own smile she likes to see almost as much as me.

My question is, when we meet should I use this oportunity and confess to her again or just deal with the fact I am friendzoned forever. I came to the conclusion I will always love her, this can;t be just a crush, a damn crush doesn;t last for almost 7 damned years with such a break in the middle, am I doomed or there is hope for me?


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