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Author Topic: 39 year old clueless virgin

February 04, 2020, 09:04:49 PM
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No Escape


Yeah, I'm a mess. I've somehow reached 39 years on this planet without entering into a single relationship, I never even gone on a date before and needless to say, sex never happened.

Honestly, the lack of sex isn't my biggest gripe, being unable to enter into any relationship and even scoring a date is what really crippled me. I was morbidly obese (being well over 500lbs at my heaviest) most of my life and that led to rejection after rejection when I was younger and I took comfort in isolation activities like videogames, comic books,  regular books and excessive binge eating after a harsh rejection (from failing to get a job or not having anyone). Combine that with struggling to find work most of my life and it just never happened for me.

The past few years I was able to garner a job and get a steady income, which led me to join a gym, clean up my nutrition and lose well over 200lbs (and always dropping). I'm still fat, but I'm not morbidly obese anymore and for the first I can remember, I actually like looking at myself in the mirror and happy about the muscle I put on and my body transformation in general. However, even with this newfound confidence  I can't get a date and at this point in my life I realized I'm terrified to even let a woman know I like them.

The concept of a date is so foreign to me I don't know where to begin. I had bad experiences at bars and clubs when I was younger and have since avoided them. I don't know what to wear (I have no fashion sense, none whatsoever) or what even to say to a woman I like. I don't even know if I'll like it, how to act, where to go, etc. I've been rejected by every woman I even tried to hang out with for 25 years.  I overthink every thing and realized that even hanging out with friends is something I'm not 'good' at as I only have a handful of friends and I rarely hang out with them outside of seeing them at the gym or playing an online videogame.

That brings me to one of my friends, a woman I met in the gym who saw firsthand my massive weight loss. She would  congratulate me on my progress and over time, we would have lengthly chats and after a few months I realized I caught feelings for her. Because of my past experiences, I had the mindset that relationships were for other people and something I didn't need to concern myself with and just tried to bury my feelings, which didn't work. The more we would talk and she would share, the more I was drawn to her.  But outside of passionate hugs, I've never been able to tell her how I feel about I her. I just can't and everytime I try to ask her to hang out or on a date, my lack of experience scares me into doing nothing.

I need advice, anything anyone can give me. I wish I could just 'get over it' and flip a switch in my head and just tell her how I feel and go ask women out and play the numbers game.

February 07, 2020, 09:35:25 AM
Reply #1
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Adamsv11


MY STORY HERE IS REAL AND GENUINE. My name is Adams Vienna and i am here to testify about Great Mother who brought back my man to me when he broke up with me because of another woman who he met at his place of work. Great Mother is a very powerful, real and unique woman with special powers. I tried to get help from many places and sources to bring back my man but nothing worked but when i contacted Great Mother, she made me smile again by bringing my man back to me with her special powers.. If you are experiencing any problems in your marriage, relationship, and you have any similar problem to this, contact this Great Woman now she will help you. Here is her website: Ourgreatmother1.com   and here is her email address: Greatmotherofsolutiontemple1@yahoo.com   and you can also contact her now on her own Whatsapp number: +17025514367 You can either contact her on her website, email or her whatsapp number. Thank you Great Mother.  

February 07, 2020, 10:49:08 AM
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No Escape


A woman named "Adams"?

Hey, are you a bot?!

February 19, 2020, 08:53:16 PM
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hobgoblin


You're not a mess. Women and society at large put pressure on men to get married, have a certain notch count and to have everything together by a certain age and that's where the shame comes from. You feel you have not lived up to what was expected of you but at the end of the day it's nobodies business but your own. I'm not going to lie. The honeymoon phase of a relationship is a pretty nice high but disillusionment does come eventually and you realize just how problematic relationships actually are. Not to say you shouldn't still try at this stage of life. I just want to give you a litter disclaimer.

You can't plan for a relationship or really take that many steps to make them happen. This is the bad news. You kind of just have to expose yourself to as many people and places as possible to increase your probability of hitting it off with someone. I didn't have any girlfriends until my mid 20's. I saved up money to travel to south America and Asia and just found it much easier to talk to women in and seduce them in those countries. Mainly because I looked exotic and these women thought I had money. That's the trick to getting a girlfriend. Have something that they want. Doesn't have to be money but it does have to be something. Taking care of your body and increasing how much money you have in the bank will certainly help. You're probably quite an awkward guy who struggles socially so learning to relax and stop taking women so seriously would benefit you. I've had three girlfriends so far. One from Thailand, one from Columbia and one from south Korea and all the relationships ended in disaster but they were fun at times. I don't want to sh*t on American women too much but they are really hard to date. They're just not receptive to most men and seem to want to make you feel as bad about yourself as possible for just trying to flirt with them. Not saying the women from the cultures I dated were perfect angels but it was easier to get my foot in the door. I would go on one of these dating sites like international cupid and I within a week or two of chatting with them I could jump on a plane and have a vacation with one.

Might not be your thing I understand but it's only advice I can give because it's the only way I could find success. It was very sweet success too. These women were gorgeous. Far better looking than a girl I could get in the US. You are an older guy so maybe you're after more than just a few flings now in which case I have no wisdom to impart. I think marriage is a waste of time and far too bigger risk for men these days and I would not bother. I've been visiting escorts for about two years now and just focusing on my own interests. I wish you the best of luck in finding happiness whatever you decide to do but put yourself first and don't do anything desperate like stay with a horrible woman because you think she's the only one you will ever get. Remember no matter how old you get there will always be young gold diggers looking for a sugar daddy so you need not despair when it comes to your virginity.

February 20, 2020, 12:35:51 PM
Reply #4
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Greens in Regulation


You are not in a mess, you've lost plenty of weight and got a good job. I wouldn't worry about dating. Just enjoy your life and see what happens !

 

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