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Author Topic: What should I do. Ldr GF wants to stay there...

January 20, 2019, 07:45:29 PM
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Hi! I live in Colombia. My GF went to study abroad to England. It's been a year and a little while since she left. We've been in a lot since then and this week she decided that she will stay there when she finishes school and that she doesn't want me to leave my new job here in Colombia (I started a month ago after been unemployed for a year) and that she doesn't know if she wants to stay together for the rest of our lives. We are both 26.

We've been talking about this since she left and we both agreed that it would be nice to stay together whether she returned or not. But know she says that she doesn't know if she wants a relationship right know since she's overwhelmed by her job and school. She says she still loves me and has feelings for me but She doesn't think she can maintain this relationship with so much over her. 

I don't know what to do. I love her and she does too we planned on moving together and our ldr went really good, we Skyped frequently and texted good morning and good night every day. We decided to talk next weekend in order to think things but I fear she won't change her mind
Does anyone has any advice for me? What should I do. I really want to stay with her and obviously I would love to live in England... Please, give me any advice...

January 20, 2019, 07:50:18 PM
Reply #1


We've been in this relationship for three years and it's been a year and a little while that she left. We talked before she left and agreed to try it and will do whatever it takes to be together.
This has happened earlier, when she worked here and she studied as well, she felt really overwhelmed and anxious. We talked things and she decided to quit her job because it was too much. Now I don't know what will happen

January 21, 2019, 09:02:20 PM
Reply #2


You guys must live together, Love seems beautiful when the participants lived together 

January 23, 2019, 10:52:36 AM
Reply #3


It sounds like she's having second thoughts @Thatldrguy - you need to try your best to reassure her that everything with be OK.

Easier said that done, though!

Sorry to hear you're having difficulties. :(

January 27, 2019, 10:22:57 AM
Reply #4


I am sorry to hear that. I have been in a long distance relationship for over 8 months now so I know what you are going through. Thing is she now has found what she loves to do and where she loves to stay for the future and she has made it clear that it will be either with or without you although she loves you.
Firstly, you should see if you can be there too since one of you has to make a sacrifice if your relationship is worth it. I gave up a good opportunity in a different country just to live with my girlfriend. Can you do that if she won't?
Secondly, you can also talk about some space and break maybe (although unfortunately most of the time it doesn't end well). That can be a last option before the hard decision. I wish you the best of luck and decision.

May 20, 2019, 11:35:33 PM
Reply #5


In all honesty, you should tell her how you feel. Tell her that you like her a lot and want to be with her and keep your feelings open. That way if she doesn’t come back or you go to her? You always know you’ve fully tried your best with her.


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