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Author Topic: To go or not to go...

April 11, 2019, 07:48:11 PM
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I am not a very good person in relationships.  I have been hurt a lot.  I get insecure.  I am always anxious.  I suffer from frequent depression.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm happier alone.  I have been running from them for a long time until recently.

My new boyfriend I met online on a dating site around a year ago.  I wouldn't allow it to progress at first because of the distance but we caught feelings.  He is my age, successful, and wants to help me raise my child from a prior marriage.   We have been official for 4 months and he lives 4 hours away.  We were planning on me making the move this summer.  This wouldn't have been so bad since I have family nearby. The catch is that he was just given a promotion at work and now needs to move cross country by August.  He says he wants me and my son to come with. 

I feel really unstable about the whole thing because he is still finalizing a divorce (which was in process for awhile before we met) and also because I am afraid he won't want to be with me once I move there.  Lately he has been working a lot and his time for me has lessened.  I have also been experiencing bouts of anxiety which he assures me is alright and doesn't change his feelings for me but I just can't shake the feeling.   At the same time I am afraid of losing my soul-mate.   He says he loves me and does a lot of nice things for me but no matter what I feel like it's going to hurt me and even worse, my child, in the long run. 

If I don't go I feel like the darkness will win.  If I do am afraid it won't last. What should I do?

May 27, 2019, 03:01:33 PM
Reply #1


My answer would be more concrete if it would only be you...but the fact you have a child makes it way more difficult...
First thing i want to make clear is that all this confussion is made only in your mind if seeing this rationally your partner is clearly stable and for .sure the fact he is busy doesnt has to do with his fellings. I think he is sure about wanting to be with you.Although no matther how many people will assure you about his feelings, it wont make it easier...you have to tell appart your insecurities from the real facts(that he is there for you and wants to be with you).
Because this whole thing isnt just about you and it is about your child too i think you should give it a good thought.
I want you to know that there is always a chance a relationship will not work but i this shouldnt keep you back from having a greaat relationship the fact that  your past relatioships did not work doesnt mean that this one wont work too
this situation see ms to be so complicated because of your fear of a fail and it may fail but most possibly because of your fears. So dont let your fears ruin your future.
Finally if you take the decision to follow him you have to be 100% sure about it if you are not then its better to let some things go.But in this case you will always keep on living behind the shadow of your fear and most possibly the story will be repeated in your next relationships as well.
Hope I helped you reply if you want,i would like to know what you decided in the end :) :)

June 07, 2019, 06:18:37 AM
Reply #2


First congrats for him,
I think you should go for it but firetst explain to him same feelings you were just describes for us.
Much luck take care if you wanna talk am here.