Recent college grad here in need of some relationship advice. My girlfriend of a little over 8 months is studying abroad in Italy this semester, and even though I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try the distance she essentially told me she wouldn’t go if I was going to break up with her, and I want what’s best for her so I said go for it and we’ll give it a try.

 I love her more than I’ve ever loved another girl, and it’s the longest relationship I’ve had to date. I’ve struggled with some insecurities in our relationship, usually about the fact that she’s a gorgeous sorority girl who hooked up with many rich, attractive frat guys after her high school sweetheart (who of course still reaches out to her) dumped her to fuck around in college.

My problem right now is that a guy she used to fuck around with just so happens to be down the street from her in Italy. She found out he was there after her roommate ran into him the first day, and two weeks later she called me to tell me she had gone to a pre game at his apartment with a bunch of people. She knew he would be there, and they caught up a little and even did a shot together. Apparently, she was “vividly remembering” what it was like to be with him, and was “tempted” by him the whole night. She didn’t hook up with him (which I believe because she’s always been very transparent and used to tell me if she was seeing other guys before we were exclusive), but the way she told me about her emotions for him hurt me deeply.

My initial reaction was to stay chill and pretend that it didn’t bother me, but I did tell her that it hurt me to hear her look at another man that way. In the week since she’s sent me nudes, reached out to me more often than I reach out to her (I made sure to back off slightly after this experience to gauge her attraction), and expressed excitement at the fact I am coming to visit her in a little less than a month. Part of me wants to explain how my trust has been hurt and to restart the conversation, help!!!!